After Today
by x-EmilyTennant-x
Summary: Summer of my German Soldier Sequel to I Love You. Set in early 1950s, Patty is in her early 20s. Just when Patty's life is changing for the best, things get shaken up and she decides to find a certain someone. Now complete.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Here it is

**A/N: Here it is!! The sequel to 'I Love You'. It's probably not going to start out how you expect, but please stick with it, because I'm sure the ending will satisfy people's needs!**

I couldn't stop grinning as I sat on Jimmy's lap, trying to catch my breath, watching all the other young people out on the floor dancing to Little Richard's latest song. Everyone was having a fantastic time, including me, and I'd not felt this happy in a long time. I looked good in my brand new poodle skirt with my white belt accentuating my figure and Jimmy hadn't taken his eyes off me all night. Everything was perfect. Until I glanced at the clock on the wall and noticed it was almost midnight. A knot formed in the pit of my stomach and I wondered what Sharon was doing right at this moment. Would she be fast asleep in bed or would she be out with friends? She was a teenager now after all, and our parents would no doubt let her do anything she wanted. I hadn't seen her in almost a year now but even back then she had a whole string of boys after her. There was no denying the fact that I was jealous, which made me feel even guiltier. Why should I be jealous? I was really happy. Okay, so maybe it had taken me this long to get where I wanted, but I'd finally achieved it. I had a good job as a reporter, I finally had a boyfriend, Jimmy, I was independent and living in my own apartment in Memphis. There was no denying it; the 1950s were the decade when my life had turned around for the best. So why did it sometimes feel like something was missing?

"Come on," Jimmy said, helping me to my feet. "Let's have one last dance before you have to head home."

I laughed as Jimmy twirled me around the dance floor, the music filling my body and making me want to twirl even faster. Eventually I realised it had hit midnight and I had to go. I had to work the next day and would be an utter mess if I didn't get a few hours' sleep. I gave Jimmy a quick kiss on the lips and he offered to walk me home but I declined. My apartment was only a few streets away and Jimmy had the next day off so he may as well stay out late with his friends. I stepped out onto the street and began to walk home, whistling a tune to myself, ignoring the catcalls and whistles from a group of drunken men on the other side of the street. As I walked I began to think about Sharon once again, and the life I'd left behind in Jenkinsville, Arkansas. Sharon had been very upset when I'd announced I was leaving and had begged me to stay. It was hard for me to leave her, and Ruth, but I knew it was something I needed to do. Ruth didn't even try to stop me. She wished me the best of luck and gave me a tearful hug. My parents didn't even say anything. They didn't even say goodbye. I sighed. It was funny how quickly things could change, how promises could so easily be forgotten.

I reached my apartment and let myself in, flicking on the lights and sighing at the mess before me. Half written articles, notes and summaries, interviews and various loose papers were strewn everywhere and I couldn't be bothered tidying up tonight. I quickly stripped out of my clothes and pulled on my nightdress before tumbling into bed and pulling up the covers. Naturally as soon as I tried to sleep I found I was wide awake. I tossed and turned, bashed the pillow, shifted the blankets and settled down again. Still sleep wouldn't come. I climbed back out of bed and poured myself a glass of milk. I glanced at the clock ticking on the wall and nearly choked on my milk as all of a sudden I realised what day it was. When the sun had risen it would be exactly ten years since the German POW's had arrived in Jenkinsville. I couldn't believe time had gone so quickly. I hurriedly pushed the thoughts out of my mind and gulped down the last of my milk. I refused to think about that summer. It was too long ago, it was almost like it had never even happened. Perhaps it hadn't. It was never talked about.

Wide awake now I knew I wouldn't sleep, and sat down to finish writing an article on today's economy to distract myself. After awhile I realised I couldn't concentrate because a face kept drifting into my mind. A handsome face with bright blue eyes and dark hair. Anton. I sighed in frustration and ran my fingers through my hair. I had been trying so hard to forget, but I couldn't. How could I? After all he and I had shared together, I just couldn't forget. But it had been so long since I had thought about it that I just didn't know how to handle it now. I opened my desk drawer and pulled out a cold metal object and held it against my chest. Anton's ring. I still had it and I'd never let it go. My mind wandered back to when Anton and I had said goodbye. After months of being on the run together he'd taken me back because he'd known it wasn't safe. He'd wanted what was best for me. I felt tears fill my eyes as I remembered his face when he'd told me he loved me. So tender, so filled with adoration. I knew he meant it. I never did hear from him again, which is why I tried so hard not to think of it now. What had happened to him? Had he been found? I'd read the papers every single day until the war ended but there had been no mention of him being found. Still, they might have decided not to publish it. He could have been killed for all I knew.

I shuddered as I remembered stepping through the front door of my house. Ruth had been the only one home and she screamed when she saw me. She'd been in the kitchen singing some Gospel music whilst cooking and had nearly dropped the eggs she was holding. She stared at me in shock for several moments before placing the eggs down on the table and rushing towards me, engulfing me in her warm embrace, clinging to me as though afraid I'd disappear again. I had been too tired to respond and she'd put me straight to bed. She must have raced to my parents' store after that because the next thing I remembered was little Sharon calling my name and I opened my eyes to see my family standing beside my bed with looks of horror on their faces.

"When was the last time you had a bath?" my mother had at last managed to choke out before the tears began to fall. It was only then that I realised I was filthy and my clothes were a mess. My father didn't speak, just stared at me like I was a ghost. The next whole week was spent being questioned by the police as to Anton's whereabouts. I refused to tell them anything. My father stayed with me the whole time, resting his hand on my shoulder whenever I got upset, and he defended me every step of the way. I was grateful for this and thought that perhaps things had changed, that he would show me how much he loved me. I was wrong. Oh, he was never cruel to me again, he never hit me again. But both he and my mother treated me with a great distance, as though I were a stranger who simply lived with them. Sharon was too young to understand what had happened and so acted her usual self, and Ruth was even more caring than ever.

The authorities had questioned me for a whole week when they finally realised I wasn't going to tell them anything and eventually gave up. They then tried to have me arrested for treason and all sorts of other things. My family defended me, saying I was just a child, and then Charlene Madlee wrote an article in my defence, saying that the authorities were only doing this because they had been outwitted by a German and a child. They left me alone after that.

And now I sat here at my desk, fiddling with Anton's ring, wondering why I couldn't just put this all in my past and carry on with my future. I had all that I'd ever wanted, so why couldn't I just forget? I was an adult now, in my early twenties, and had a life of my own. I needed to stop living in the past and just move on. With a sigh I put the ring back in the drawer and decided to hop back into bed and try for a bit of sleep. I didn't want to be falling asleep on my desk at work tomorrow. No, today. It was past midnight, so it was today. Ten years since the POW's arrived in Jenkinsville. Why did that thought give me chills? It almost made me feel like I'd been waiting for today. As though something important was going to happen, my life was really going to start. But that was silly! I shook my head and got into bed, resting my head on the pillow and let sleep consume me.

**TBC.**

**So, here is the first chapter. Don't panic if you don't like it so far, it will get better. Tell me what you think so far, what you like and what you don't like, and any suggestions you may have for future chapters. I have the basic outline planned but any plot ideas are welcome and will be considered. Even just little ideas you may have. Anyway, please review, next chapter to be posted in a few days.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Thank ye all for the reviews so far

**A/N: Thank ye all for the reviews so far! Here is another chapter for you to amuse yourselves with. It'll get interesting from here onwards.**

**Chapter Two. **

Talk about being utterly shell-shocked. I arrived at work that morning to find Bruce, one of the new interns, clearing out my desk. He wouldn't look at me when I demanded an explanation. I stalked off to confront my boss, and found him sitting in his office puffing away on a cigar and gazing idly at a steaming mug of coffee.

"What's going on?" I demanded. "Why is Bruce clearing out my desk?"

"Sorry, Patricia," Mr Wilkins drawled as he eyed me up and down. "We need reporters here with the ability to get in and dig up all the dirt. You write well, you have a fantastic way with words, but you don't have the guts to interfere enough. You don't cause a stir by finding out the real nitty-gritty stuff. I'm sorry but we're letting you go."

"You're… you're firing me?" I whispered. Wilkins shrugged.

"We prefer to say 'letting go'," he explained. "It's not so harsh that way."

"But… but I… its discrimination!"

"I hardly think so, Sweetie."

"Don't patronise me," I hissed warningly and Wilkins got to his feet. He was over six feet tall and glared down at me, knowing that his height was intimidating. I took a step backwards.

"Just leave calmly, Patricia," he said in a firm tone. "That way everybody's dignity can remain intact."

I wanted to argue with him. I wanted to scream and shout, and break something. Instead I shrank backwards and staggered out of his office, shaking with the effort not to cry. I grabbed my few possessions from my near empty desk and left that building without looking back. As soon as I got back into my apartment I let the tears escape. I collapsed against the wall and let the sobs be torn from my body, tears making crooked tracks down my cheeks. I cried and I cried, until my whole body ached from it. At last I fell asleep upon the floor from utter exhaustion.

I awoke at around lunchtime, feeling strangely refreshed and decided to drop in on Jimmy. He had a day off today and his apartment wasn't far from mine. I quickly brushed my hair before heading out into the sunshine. I took a deep breath of Memphis air, thick with car fumes, and began to walk. I arrived at the building and headed up the stairs. As soon as I reached his door I knew that something was wrong. I didn't know how, but I just had a feeling in the pit of my stomach that something wasn't right. Hesitantly I knocked at the door. It took Jimmy a while to answer and when at last he did I saw dark shadows beneath his eyes that spoke more of stress and discomfort than last night's escapades.

"I've been fired," I said, not sure of what else to say. He wasn't inviting me in.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

"Something's wrong," I pointed out. "Are you okay?"

"I'm leaving town," he said with a sigh and stood aside, allowing me to see inside his apartment. It was almost empty, with cardboard boxes against one wall. "My Ma's ill, and I need to stay with her. She was never right after Dad died, and now she's ill. I'm the only one to take care of her."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. Just say you understand."

"We can still be together, right? I mean, when you come back."

He didn't answer, just stared at the floor.

"Jimmy, talk to me!"

"I can't, Patty," he said, looking me right in the eyes. "I can't. I can't do anything anymore. I can't explain it; I just want you to understand that I have to do this."

For the second time today I wanted to argue, but I didn't. I nodded and stepped forward, kissing him lightly on the cheek before turning and leaving. I didn't look back. Somehow I walked back to my apartment without even realising my feet had moved, and I stood in the kitchen, gazing around at the mess before me. Nothing felt quite real. It was all somehow darker, and a lot less friendly, and the only thing I could do was tidy up. I felt pathetic, trudging around to sort through papers, but I didn't know what else to do. Anything to keep busy. Somehow, in one day, my life had turned from perfect to completely uncertain. Right at this moment I had no future. I had no boyfriend, no job, no one at all. I was alone. I couldn't be bothered crying; I'd already done enough of that. It was time to get this apartment tidied up before figuring out what to do. I'd have to find another job. As a reporter? No.

Suddenly my feelings from last night came rushing back. That feeling as though I'd been waiting for today, as though my life was really about to start. No, I wouldn't get another job as a reporter. Perhaps I didn't really have the aptitude after all. I'd find something else, completely different, something that felt right. I'd find something that made me really happy, and I'd forget about Jimmy, about men in general. They always let me down. My father, now Jimmy. Men were never reliable. Except… No. I shook my head. I had to stop thinking about Anton! He was gone, in the past. He wasn't real anymore. I'd never see him again. He could be happily living in Germany, or he could be dead. How would I know? I would never find out, because I was moving on with my life from today onwards. A fresh start. On my own.

……

**A/N: Heh, yeah right. Reviews!! **


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Please don't kill me, but tomorrow I'm going on holidays for two weeks and I won't have access to a computer

**A/N: Please don't kill me, but tomorrow I'm going on holidays for two weeks and I won't have access to a computer. But I promise I'll update as soon as I get back! And sorry this chapter isn't very long, I've been packing and preparing all day so only just got a chance to write this. Anyway, hope you enjoy, and please review!**

**Chapter Three. **

The next morning I was feeling incredibly refreshed and decided to find a job. The question was, what did I want to do? I knew now that whatever I chose would be my career, the rest of my life. I was not just going to settle for some job in a store; no, I was going to find something that would pay the rent and leave me plenty left over to spend. But what? Going for a walk to the local park would help me think. I grabbed my purse, quickly checked my reflection and headed out.

I took a deep breath of the Memphis air, thick with car fumes, and momentarily longed for the fresh Jenkinsville air. But only for a moment. I strutted down the sidewalk, smiling at the people I passed, trying to look as happy, confident and in control of my life as I could. I knew it was just an act, but no one else had to know. Why was nothing ever simple? Eventually I arrived at the park and sat down on a bench, gazing around at the trees. I closed my eyes and let a gentle breeze blow across my face, strands of my hair tickling my cheeks. When I opened my eyes I nearly fell off the bench with shock. Was that… it couldn't be. I leapt to my feet and strained my eyes, staring at the tall man who stood on the other side of the park. It couldn't be… it was! He had his back to me, but I was sure! Anton!

Before I knew what I was doing I was on my feet running, running, as fast as I could, heading straight for Anton. So many thoughts were running through my head. Would he recognise me? Would he even remember me? Was that why he was here, to try and find me? I skidded to a halt in front of Anton, gasping for breath and grinning like a fool, and he turned around to face me. My heart stopped. It wasn't him. The dark haired man stared at me in confusion, as though I was a patient from the mental asylum, and I stammered an apology as I backed away in horror. The man shook his head and turned away again, obviously waiting for a taxi, and I thought I'd die of embarrassment. All of a sudden I realised I'd left my purse on the bench and jogged back to grab it. Fear stabbed me right in my stomach when I saw that the bench was empty. My purse was gone. Tears of frustration pricked at my eyes as I realised my life was completely falling apart, and just how much had gone wrong these past two days.

I sank onto the bench, put my head in my hands and burst into tears. How could so much have gone wrong all of a sudden? Why was I thinking of Anton all of a sudden, when I'd avoided those thoughts for so long? And what in the world was I going to do now? I had no money, no keys to let myself back into my apartment… I sighed and sniffed, wiping my eyes on my sleeve. At least I didn't carry much money around with me; the rest of it was safe in the bank. I stood up shakily and decided to drop by the police station and report it, just in case. There didn't seem much else I could do.

………………………………………………

The police were useless. They basically told me it was my own fault for leaving it, but that they'd keep an eye out if any lost purses were handed in. So now what was I supposed to do? I didn't have the keys for my apartment as they'd been in my purse. The only choice I had was to find a way to get back to Jenkinsville and hope that Ruth would help me get back on my feet. I could just leave all my possessions in my apartment; it's not like I had anything of value, anyway. Value… Anton's ring! I shrieked aloud and several people turned to stare at me, but I was too panic-stricken to care. For the second time that day I was running, running, as fast as I could go. I finally reached my apartment, gasping for breath, almost collapsing against the wall. If I'd been expecting something horrid, like the apartment having been broken into, I was wrong. It looked the same as always, and the door was still locked. How was I meant to get in? I had to get Anton's ring; it was all I cared about.

Suddenly I remembered a trick Freddy Dowd had taught me once when we were kids, back in Jenkinsville. How to pick a lock with a hairpin. I slid the pin out of my hair and poked it into the lock on my door. I wiggled the pin around and after about thirty seconds I heard it click open. With a squeal of joy I heaved the door open and raced straight over to the desk, yanking open the drawer and snatching up the ring. I held it to my chest and felt tears in my eyes yet again. This constant crying was becoming a bad habit.

So now what? A question I had been asking myself a lot recently. It was getting repetitive. I'd have to get back to Jenkinsville, because there was no way I could stay here without my keys. I grabbed the suitcase from under my bed and tossed in several outfits and my framed photographs of Ruth and Sharon. I located my latest bank statement to use as identification and threaded Anton's ring onto the simple silver chain I wore around my neck. That way I wouldn't lose it. I took one last look around my apartment before stepping outside, heaving my suitcase along beside me.

It was an awkward walk to the bank, and people openly stared at me as I lugged my suitcase, but no one offered to help. It was Memphis, and everyone was busy doing their own thing, but sparing a moment to gawk. I arrived at the bank and explained my situation, showing my statement, and they allowed me to withdraw all I had, which wasn't much. Before I knew it I was at the train station and paying for a one way ticket to Arkansas. I was really doing it; I was going home. But what would be waiting for me? What would happen next? I felt so confused and nervous, so lost and alone, so unwanted. I hadn't felt this way in a long time… Not since I'd left Jenkinsville… And now I was going back. It was absolutely awful.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I'm back from holidays

**A/N: I'm back from holidays!! Okay, so it was ten days, but that's close enough to two weeks for me. I got back last night and today I wrote this chapter, probably my favourite one so far, and I'm hoping you all like it. Let me know what you think!**

**Chapter Four. **

The train seats were hard and uncomfortable and I had to share a cabin with a large man who breathed very loudly and nasally. Every now and then he'd inhale deeply and sigh heavily, causing his large belly to wobble. It was about 120 miles back to Arkansas from Memphis so I settled down as much as I could for the ride, knowing it would take a few hours. I quite liked the clackety-clack sound as we raced along the tracks and I watched the scenery pass before me, fascinated as it slowly changed from city to countryside.

After a while I began to whistle a tune but the large man glared at me and huffed loudly, the ends of his moustache being blown upwards. I felt a strange urge to laugh at him but decided against it as he was still glaring.

I turned back to the window and felt my eyelids grow heavy. The steady rhythm of the train and the clackety-clack was beginning to lull me into a light sleep and I felt so tired and weary that I allowed my eyes to flutter closed…

_Anton wasn't saying anything. He sat beside me silently and the only thing I could hear was the clackety-clack of the train progressing along the tracks, taking us away from Jenkinsville and to the unknown. I shivered from the cold and wrapped my arms tightly around my body. A moment of doubt flickered through my mind… Perhaps it wasn't safe for a twelve year old girl to run away with a grown man and jump onto a train. But I pushed that thought away almost immediately. Anton was going to look after me and we were going to stay safe._

_Suddenly the train shuddered and lurched and I felt myself being thrown forward. The brakes were grinding, screeching and screaming in protest and I knew that something wasn't right. Something inside me said that we'd been found. They were coming for us. They were going to take me away from Anton, take me home, and send him away to an unknown fate. They'd lock him up and throw away the key. Or even worse… What if they killed him?_

"_Anton," I whispered into the darkness as the train slowed down. "Anton, they've found us! We have to run!"_

_When Anton didn't answer me I crept forward. The soft moonlight flashed from behind a cloud and I gasped. Anton's face was gone. He had no face! I staggered backwards in horror. What was happening? I didn't know what to do. Suddenly Anton reached his hands out blindly towards me and I heard, or rather felt, an anguished moan._

"_P.B.," the voice cried inside my head. "They've taken my face. They've stolen it. Help me, P.B. Save me…"_

_Anton collapsed on the ground and writhed in obvious pain. I didn't know what to do. I tried to call for help but no sound came from my mouth. Anton's body lurched and shuddered and heaved, and I could feel his pain and screams resonating inside my mind. I was terrified and I knew I had to save Anton, but how? Suddenly I felt strong arms grab me from behind in a vice like grip, dragging me away from Anton. _

"_Help me, P.B.," I felt him say. "Don't leave me."_

"_Anton!" I cried, struggling against the arms that held onto me. "No! Anton! NO!"_

I woke up with a strangled cry that was somewhere between a scream and a desperate sob. For a moment I didn't know where I was but the distinct clackety-clack and a disapproving huff from a seat reminded me that I was on a train heading home. I was shaking uncontrollably and drenched with sweat and as I tentatively hauled myself back onto my seat I realised I could taste blood in my mouth. I must have bitten my tongue. I brushed the wet and matted hair away from my forehead and looked at the seat opposite me. The large man had drawn himself as far away from me as possible and stared at me shamelessly with open disgust, as though I were a rabid dog or a carrier of the plague.

"I… I'm sorry," I stammered, my heart still thundering in my chest. "I… I must have had a nightmare."

The large man grunted and unfolded a newspaper, obviously trying to forget that he was sharing a cabin with such an undesirable companion. I felt tears sting my eyes and my bottom lip trembled but I refused to cry, and instead stared determinedly out of the window. The sky was darkening now and the landscape was somewhat familiar. It was only then that I realised we had reached the outskirts of Arkansas. I felt a tremor of excitement in my chest and found it slightly strange that it just looked so… plain. It was the same as everywhere else, really.

Crossing into different towns had always been strange for me because I somehow expected it to look different, distinctive. Almost as though there should be a great big line separating each county and each one looking a little different. But Arkansas just looked like Arkansas. No twelve foot fence separating it from everywhere else. It was just like two counties melted into one another.

"We're in Arkansas!" I said excitedly, turning to the large man and smiling broadly. He didn't even look up, just grunted. I was too excited to care. I hadn't realised quite how much I'd missed this place until now.

I heard the train change gears and almost immediately felt us begin to slow down. This was it, I thought to myself. I stood up and hauled my suitcase down from the compartment above and nearly toppled over. It was awfully heavy. The large man didn't offer any assistance. Seconds later he stood up to haul down his own luggage. His was obviously heavy too. I didn't offer any assistance. At last we drew to a halt and I shivered as the whistle blew. The memory of my nightmare momentarily flickered through my mind but I pushed it away again.

The large man was closer than I to the cabin door so I waited for him to open it, but he was still bumbling around organising his luggage so I crept forward. He noticed this and grunted, stepping in front of me. He was clearly rushing to get off the train and evidently didn't know anything about courtesy. I sighed impatiently as he dropped his newspaper and bent over to pick it up. He had quite a bit of difficulty in doing so as his large belly got in the way and he pawed at the ground with his sausage-like fingers until he eventually managed to swipe it up.

I sighed again, louder this time and he bustled out of the cabin. I followed. As soon as he was in the train's corridor he promptly dropped his newspaper again. It fluttered down inches from my feet and, so I could get off the train faster, I bent down and picked it up for him, handing it over with a smile. He glared at me and snorted, his moustache fluttering, and stormed off the train. Well, I thought, how rude. In this day and age you'd think people could at least be polite when someone had given assistance. I shook my head and followed him off the train and onto the platform.

People were crowded around the train waiting for passengers, some with signs bearing names. I felt a momentary stab of loneliness, knowing that nobody was waiting for me, but pushed that thought away. Nobody even knew I was here yet. I lugged my suitcase after me and after pushing my way through the crowds I found myself outside the station. I took a deep breath and was surprised at how different the air really smelt here. I'd never fully appreciated it before. It was so much cleaner, so much fresher, than the air in Memphis. Yes, Jenkinsville air was sweeter.

Even though it was dusk the summer air was still heavy and warm from the sweltering day and I gazed up in wonder at the beautiful evening sky. The orange ball that was the sun was slowly sinking along the horizon, streaking the sky with red, purple and gold, and the shadows were beginning to stretch out from the trees, embracing the dusty ground that was glowing with the last of the day's light.

I shivered in delight. Yup, there was no doubt about it. I was finally home.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: So

**A/N: So! I was cleaning out my horse's paddock today when all of a sudden I was hit by inspiration and desperately needed to write this. So if ever you have writer's block, go and surround yourself with horse manure. It helps. **

**Chapter Five. **

I must have looked quite a sight, lugging a suitcase down the streets at nightfall. But I didn't care. I grinned like a fool and had a spring in my step as I saw the familiar house before me. The lights were on inside but I knew I didn't want to see anyone tonight. I'd wait until tomorrow. I somehow managed to heave my suitcase into the backyard without making too much noise and felt my breath catch in my throat as I saw the hideout above the garage where I'd hidden Anton all those summers ago. With great difficulty I pushed the suitcase up through the darkness into the hideout before clambering up myself. It was a hell of a squeeze; after all, I was twenty-two now, not twelve. Sometimes I still felt like a little girl though.

I waited for my eyes to adjust to the dark before looking around. It was just as I'd left it. I shivered, feeling… a presence? Maybe. I closed my eyes and tried to imagine Anton standing next to me but couldn't. I sighed and let my shoulders slump. Then I realised with a jolt what I'd been feeling; more than a presence, the hideout felt lived in. Sure enough as I inspected every corner there was barely a speck of dust, as though it had been cleaned that very morning. Before I had a chance to think about this I heard a door shut, light footsteps crossing the yard and then the sounds of someone climbing up into the hideout. I backed away into the corner and waited.

"Sharon!" I squeaked, as my sister appeared in the hideout. She jumped at the sound of my voice and I took a step forward, noting the shock on her pretty face.

"Patty?" she whispered incredulously before her face broke into a grin and she flung herself at me. "It's so good to see you! What are you doing here?"

"It's a long story," I said, returning her warm embrace. "I'll tell you about it tomorrow. Let me look at you!"

I took a step back and was surprised at how much she had changed in only a year. She was fifteen years old, almost sixteen, and wasn't as skinny as she'd been when I last saw her. She'd filled out nicely and was the perfect balance, slim yet subtly curvy. Her golden hair hung loosely at her shoulders in gentle curls which framed her face nicely and her eyes sparkled with delight and emotion. She wasn't wearing any makeup, and certainly didn't need to with her clear complexion and naturally rosy cheeks.

Sharon held herself confidently, her chin tilted up slightly with an air of pride, but the relaxed angle of her shoulders showed that she wasn't stuck up. She was pretty and she knew it, yet she didn't let it take over. Her smile was warm and friendly, and accepted me as an equal. I realised that I wasn't jealous of her now that I was here, even though I knew she'd always been the better looking one.

"You've grown so much," I said, my eyes misting with tears. Sharon nodded.

"And you look wonderful," she said softly. "Your hair looks incredible!"

I blushed. Since escaping my mother's tyrannical rule I'd been growing it longer and left it naturally wavy instead of having it frizzled by Mrs Reeves or some other hairdresser. I liked it just how it was. It now hung almost halfway down my back and I was happy with it.

"Sorry, but what are you doing up here?" I asked, shaking my head slightly. "I mean, you never used to come up here. It was like… my secret place. You never bothered before."

Sharon gave a slight shrug of her shoulders. "I missed you after you left and I come up here to think. It makes me feel closer to you."

"It's nice to know at least someone missed me."

Suddenly Sharon's eyes were on the floor and an awkward silence filled the air. She chewed nervously on her lower lip and I knew there was something she wanted to tell me.

"Patty… things were never easy at home. I've always been our mother's little doll, to dress up and show off. I've always been Daddy's little princess. You didn't get the attention from them, but… I… oh, never mind."

"No, go on," I encouraged.

"It doesn't matter."

But it did, and I told her so, and she took a deep breath, as though what she was about to say took great courage.

"I've always been jealous of you. Always. There, I've said it. Because of the relationship you had with Ruth, how you could tell her anything, and how you got to have a great adventure that summer during the war." I winced at the mention. "You were like a celebrity and everyone was talking about it. Okay, so not always nicely, but still. I wasn't jealous at the time, but when I got older and started to understand, then I was."

"You?" I was stunned. "Sharon, jealous of _me_?"

She nodded. "Uh-huh. And I know it sounds stupid, but I was so jealous how you and Ruth were so close. You could… you know, talk. With Mother I just do what she wants for the sake of peace, but I can't talk to her. Same with Daddy. I love him, and I know he loves me, but I can't tell him stuff. And Ruth was always like your best friend, and I didn't want to interfere so I never talked to her about stuff either. I've just felt… so alone, especially since you left, 'cause I realised I should've gotten closer to you when I still had you at home. I could've talked to you."

Sharon had barely paused for breath and was now panting as she continued to stare at the floor. I didn't know what to say, I was so stunned. Eventually Sharon raised her eyes to stare up at me tentatively through her long lashes. She looked so vulnerable, like the small child I remembered from that summer years ago, and I took her into my arms and held her. It made me feel strong, the big sister looking after her baby sibling. As tears pricked at my eyes I realised that it wasn't just me comforting her. Sharon was comforting me too. We stood there and cried, two sisters clinging desperately to one another as we let out all our pent up emotions.

After we finished crying I felt exhausted yet somehow refreshed at the same time. We wiped our eyes and smiled sheepishly at each other, embarrassed at such a raw display of emotion. All of a sudden my nightmare from on the train popped back into my mind, completely out of the blue.

"Sharon," I said sharply. "If you had a nightmare about someone you loved being taken away from you and you had no way of helping them, and they had no face in the nightmare, what do you think it would mean?"

"Oh, I've never been one to look on these things too deeply. I find that it just gets frustrating when you can't find the answers."

"But if you had to take a guess, what would it mean?"

Sharon sighed and sat down, motioning for me to do the same. She pursed her lips and frowned as she thought, clearly turning it over in her mind.

"I'd think… The part about not being able to help, it might represent some sort of feeling like you're not good enough. You know? Low self esteem and stuff. Like you're… inadequate to save them. Them being taken away, I reckon it's showing that you're scared of losing this person 'cause you love them so much, and you need them."

"And not having a face?"

"I have no idea."

"Neither do I. But I'm sure it's got to be important."

Sharon looked at me for several moments, concern in her deep eyes before speaking again, slowly and cautiously. "Patty, you don't think you're reading into things too much? I don't know what this is about, or who was in that dream, but are you sure it's not simply a dream? Does it really have to mean something?"

I paused for a moment and then decided to explain. Well, part of it anyway.

"After that summer, you know, _the _summer, I told myself I wouldn't think about Anton again. After the war ended I still hadn't heard anything about him, and he didn't contact me, so I pushed him right out of my mind. I rejected the very thought of him and sometimes pretended it had never happened at all. But then all of a sudden I realised it was ten years exactly since the POW's arrived here, in Jenkinsville, and things started going wrong. Lost my job, my boyfriend, my purse, everything. That's why I'm here. And now for some reason I can't stop thinking about Anton."

"Well, that's easy then!" Sharon exclaimed happily.

"I'm glad you think so," I said glumly.

"Can't you see it, silly?" I shook my head. "Oh, Patty! You pushed him so far out of your mind over the last few years that you didn't allow his memory to be a real, complete person anymore. He was just this faceless entity that you pushed away and tried to forget. That's why he was faceless in your dream, because you had pushed him so far away that he wasn't complete anymore."

"That makes sense. But why am I thinking about him all of a sudden?"

"Because you never heard of him again, or from him again. That chapter of your life never quite ended. You never got to say a true goodbye, never had that closure. And when you realised how significant that date was, such an important anniversary, it awakened in you all these memories you'd been trying to hide from for so long. You've been running away from it. From him."

"From him? He could be dead." I said it so blankly and coldly that I barely even recognised the sound of my own voice.

"But that's just it," Sharon said gently. "You'll never stop thinking about him until you find out. You need that closure."

"What?" I laughed. "You want me to try and find Anton? Don't be mad! He could be anywhere, all over the world!"

"I'll help you," Sharon said in a matter-of-fact tone. "Did he ever give any indication of what he wanted to do after the war?"

I thought for a moment. "Well, he was a medical student in Gottingen before he joined the German Army. I remember telling him that after the war he'd go back and become a doctor. He hadn't rejected the idea, just smiled and said maybe."

"So that's where we'll start," Sharon decided happily. "We'll go to Germany and see if we can locate him."

She sounded so convinced and pleased with herself that I couldn't help but laugh. Bless her.

"Sharon," I giggled. "I've hardly got any money, and I don't have a job. I'm gathering you don't have much money either?"

She looked disappointed, but only for a moment. "We'll go to the Synagogue and pray for a miracle!"

"Don't be a fool!" We both burst into peals of laughter at the utter absurdity of what we were discussing.

"You never know," she said seriously and we laughed again. Suddenly she sobered up. "I won't be able to keep a secret. Your bedroom is filled with stuff so you'll have to sleep up here tonight, but come inside with me. Mother and Father will be pleased to see you."

"Like heck they will."

"Patty, please," she almost whined. "You don't know what it's been like. They missed you, they really did. I know they didn't show it when you left, but after you went Mother kept crying. Daddy would go for long walks by himself and refused to talk about it. They blamed themselves for all of this, for everything. Even what happened with Anton, they completely blamed themselves."

"So they should," I muttered darkly, but deep down knew I was being unfair. It wasn't entirely their fault. Partially it was mine. Sharon had been right about her interpretation of my dream; I felt inadequate. That's why I'd always been such a nuisance. I wanted some attention, some love, to make me feel better about myself.

"Come on," Sharon said softly, reaching out a hand. I hesitated a moment before taking hold of it in my own and let her help me to my feet.

"Time to face them, I guess."

……………….

**Reviews, please!**


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Sigh

**A/N: Sigh. Far out this chapter was hard to write. I knew there was so much pent-up anger that I had to convey, and that people had changed but not enough. It was really difficult to write, and I hope I've done okay. I'm too tired to proof-read this chapter so don't complain if there are spelling mistakes, I can't be stuffed fixing it. Enjoy. **

**Chapter Six. **

I'd always hated confrontations. They were the worst thing ever. Well, except for goodbyes. Sharon took my hand and led me across the familiar yard and through her firm yet gentle grip I felt confidence surge back inside me. I knew that I could do this, even if my family rejected me. It was a pity that Ruth would be home already; I could have used her support too.

We stepped into the house together and went through into the living room. My parents were sitting side by side, silently perusing the local newspaper, and hadn't heard us enter the room. Sharon cleared her throat and they both looked up. In the brief moment of silence so much seemed to happen. It was like everything had frozen, the air was thick and I couldn't breathe, my parents' eyes widened in shock and I felt my knees begin to tremble. Nothing had ever felt so intense, so real, and yet like a dream all at the same time.

I registered all of this in what must have only been seconds yet felt longer. Then my mother opened her mouth and shrieked in absolute shock and the silence was broken. All hell seemed to have broken loose. My father jumped to his feet, all the blood draining from his face, and knocking over the lamp beside him as he stood. It hit the floor with a great crash, causing my mother to shriek again and jump up from the settee. I could hear the blood pulsing in my head and the room began to spin. I thought I might faint. But then Sharon gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and I took a deep breath.

"Hello." I'd meant for it to come out sounding sure and confident, but it was more of a shaky whisper.

My mother had her hands pressed to her cheeks and was staring at me, open-mouthed, as though I were a ghost. My father just stared, and stared, and stared. His face was expressionless now, the shock having worn off. We stood here like this, my mother and father on one side of the room, Sharon and I on the other, for what seemed like hours but was only a matter of minutes.

At last my mother collapsed back onto the settee and my father cleared his throat, looking around the room nervously for something to focus on. He was clearly done with staring. I was at a loss of what to say but Sharon came to my rescue.

"Patty's home," she offered to the room in general.

"Well obviously," my father said. From the creases in his forehead he was clearly trying to sound angry and snap, but his words were soft and shaky, just as mine had been. "So… I guess we'll take this to the kitchen then."

He gave a slight shrug and led the way past me into the kitchen, avoiding eye contact. My mother followed him and as she walked past me I couldn't miss the tears that clung to her lashes and the slight smile that was tugging at her lips. Sharon must have seen this too, because she flashed me a smug smile that said, 'I told you so'. I smiled back and we wandered into the kitchen to join our parents at the table.

For several minutes nobody said anything. Then my father spoke.

"So why'd you come back?"

"Well, I lost my job," I said, dipping my chin in shame. "Apparently I didn't have what it took to be a reporter."

"What a load of…"

Everyone in the room turned to stare at my mother. She composed herself quickly and looked away.

"How would you know?" I said softly, not unkindly and not accusingly. Just a question.

"We've… we've been following your work," she admitted, clearly embarrassed. "Not daily. Just once or twice a week we'll get a friend to send us a copy of the paper down from Memphis, just to have a little look-see."

"You've been following my work?" I whispered, shocked. She nodded. "I can't believe it."

"Well, why not?" It was my father this time, surprising me. He was still avoiding eye contact. "You're our daughter, and you're making your way in the world. Of course we wanna keep track of you."

I felt tears welling in my eyes. I couldn't believe it… had I really mistaken them all this time? They really cared about me?

"Well, apparently I wasn't good enough, because they fired me. Then my boyfriend ended it with me."

"Boyfriend?" my father interrupted sharply. "You had a boyfriend? How old was he?"

"Only a year older than me," I said with a wry smile. "Anyway, he left me. And then my purse was stolen and so I came back home. If you don't want me here…"

"Well you can't expect to stay," my mother said. "Until you get back on your feet, of course, but you're not staying in Jenkinsville forever."

"Why not?" I asked, surprised.

"Because we held you back all o' this time," my father said, frowning at the tablecloth. "And it's only in the past year that you've started really getting somewhere. You're a grown woman now and you've only just started in the world. You should've been making your place a long time ago, but your mother and I blame ourselves for you not succeeding until now."

"I cannot believe you both," I said, anger rising inside me. "All my life you made every single day hell and misery. You treated me like I didn't exist, like I wasn't good enough, and tried to turn me into something I wasn't. And now, when I finally escaped, you decide to show a little remorse? And you expect everything to be okay? Well it's not okay!"

I jumped to my feet and Sharon grabbed my arm.

"Patty…"

"No, Sharon! They have to know how I feel. They have to hear what I wanna say, because after all the crap that I've been through I think I deserve a chance to speak."

Sharon nodded, understanding, and I turned back to face my parents with anger coursing through my veins with my blood. "Father, you beat me. You hit me so many times I lost count. Mother, you always tried to turn me into something I wasn't. You always made it clear that I wasn't good enough for you. I thought you both hated me, and sometimes I thought I hated you. But in the end I realised that I didn't hate either of you. I hated myself. You made me hate myself because I wasn't good enough. I wasn't what you wanted. I used to keep a diary of all the insults and criticisms you gave me and when, so I could try and make myself better. To turn myself into what you wanted."

By now I was shaking, and so was my mother. My father had gone quite pale once again. But I wasn't finished yet.

"When I met Anton I couldn't believe that he could like me, and want to be my friend. I was so scared that he'd hate me and think I was weird, but somehow he managed to really like me for who I was. The real me. He even loved me. Me! Not who you wanted me to be, but me! Patricia Ann Bergen, the girl who used to read dictionaries and wasn't pretty. That's why I went with him. That's why I didn't want to stay here. He accepted me for who I was and didn't try to change me. He called me unique and he really, really liked me. And that's why I left last year."

I paused for impact and to regain my breath before continuing.

"You said I didn't start to make my place in the world until last year. That I didn't start to succeed until then. And you know why? Because I couldn't accept myself until last year. That's why I left, because after all this time, I figured that maybe Anton was right. Maybe he saw something in me that no one else could see, and maybe I was alright. Maybe I wasn't as ugly and useless as I thought. That's why I left; because I knew I deserved better than the crap I got at home."

"But I never hit you after Anton," my father whispered, his face grey.

"No, you never hit me again. But it was the looks you both gave me. Like I was mad and a stranger. You both distanced yourselves from me like you didn't know me anymore. And I realised I deserved better."

"We were afraid!" my mother cried. "We didn't know how to treat you, how to deal with this. We didn't want you running away again. Patricia, when you ran away with Anton we realised how much we cared for you. We didn't want to lose you again."

"Funny way of showing it," I huffed childishly. Inside I was trying to conceal my surprise. My parents had barely mentioned the Anton incident after it happened. As though the topic were poisonous. This was the most they'd ever said regarding it.

"I don't know what to say to you, Patricia," my father said tiredly. "You always were so stubborn."

"But you two will never change," I said. "You may care for me, but you'll never accept me for who I am."

"But we do!" my mother protested. "We've been following your career as a reporter, isn't that proof enough?"

"That proves that you have an interest in my work. But looking at me now, what do you see? Tell me what you see."

They stared at me and I knew that they wanted to comment on my long hair, my choice of dress, my lack of make up and the defiant pout held on my lips. But they didn't. They couldn't say anything.

"You see?" I said, getting to my feet. "You can't even say something nice. You can't say anything at all, because you'll only criticise. I'm going to sleep in the hideout; I'll come inside for breakfast in the morning. I'd like griddlecakes. With a glass of milk. I'll see you then. Night, Sharon."

Without waiting for any response I stalked out of the backdoor, feeling immensely drained yet proud of myself for standing my ground and speaking up for myself. And I'd get to see Ruth the next day! That was definitely something to look forward to.

………………………………

**Please review. **


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Why does the first bit of my author's note keep repeating above the proper one

**A/N: Why does the first bit of my author's note keep repeating above the proper one? It's not doing on my Word document, only on the website. It's annoying me. Any ideas? Or is it only me that can see it? Oh dear, I'm going mad… Ah well, here's the next chapter. I'd rather like some reviews for it! :)**

**Chapter Seven.**

When I opened my eyes the next morning I realised the sun must have been up for a while already. I was already hot and sweaty, the signs of a typical Arkansas summer. I yawned and stretched, before dragging myself to my feet and shimmying down from the hideout. I crossed the lawn and grinned, already able to hear Ruth's gospel singing from the kitchen. I suddenly remembered the day I'd come home from being on the run with Anton, all those years ago. Ruth had been cooking in the kitchen and screamed when she saw me. I had a feeling it would be the same today.

I stepped in through the back door and breathed in the familiar smells. "Mmm, griddlecakes!" I exclaimed happily and Ruth nearly dropped the frying pan.

"What…" she started, turning around to stare at me in shock. "Patty! Well, what a gift from the Lord! It's so good to see you, honey!"

She placed the frying pan down before sweeping me into her arms for a hug.

"It feels like it's been forever," I sighed, pulling away reluctantly. "How have you been?"

"Me? Oh, same as ever! And you! You're lookin' so well. Why are you home?"

"Long story," I said, tired of explaining. "I'm sure Sharon will fill you in at some point. But right now I'd really like some griddlecakes if that's okay."

"Anything for you, honey."

I poured myself a glass of milk and sat down at the table, contentedly awaiting the large plate of griddlecakes that Ruth was cooking up. We chattered easily for a few minutes before the food was ready and I tucked in hungrily. I hadn't tasted anything so good in ages. When I finished my breakfast I helped Ruth to wash up and then I excused myself, heading for the bathroom. Sharon passed me in the hall, her blonde hair tousled from sleep and she groaned out a greeting through a wide yawn.

It's funny how quickly your life can change. Something as simple as overhearing a few secret words. It makes you wish you could go back in time and forget what you'd heard. But unfortunately that isn't possible. I finished in the bathroom and was just about to walk back into the kitchen when I heard Sharon's agitated voice.

"You can't expect me to keep something like that from Patty! She's my sister."

"Sharon, honey, I'm only thinking of her best interests," Ruth protested and I pressed myself against the wall, listening intently.

"But something like that? How could you not tell her? She has a right to know! I can't believe you didn't tell me until now!"

"Well I wasn't gonna tell you, until you mentioned you wanted to help her find him!"

"But after all they went through together!"

"Sharon, you're too young to understand. It's just not right that she should see him. Just let her forget."

"She won't forget," I heard Sharon protest, and I knew they were talking about Anton. "And why isn't it right, anyway? What's wrong with them seeing each other?"

"He's a nice man, but he's not for Patty. I don't want her getting confused and thinking that she loves him."

"But she does love him!"

"She don't know what love is yet."

"Oh, and you're the expert on love? You know everything about it? How can you know how Patty feels? You don't know anything!"

"I am not saying I'm an expert! I just think Patty can do better than…"

"Than what, huh? Than a German?"

"He's an ex prisoner of war!"

"But you weren't so concerned when they ran off together all those years ago!"

"She was just a child, and I knew he was too smart to try anything back then. But she's a woman now! And besides, her daddy used to hurt her, and he doesn't anymore. She has no reason to run away with him now. Back then she was afraid and unloved, but she's got a future now. She doesn't need him."

"But I do need him!" I screamed, bursting into the kitchen, tears stinging my eyes. Ruth and Sharon stared at me in shock and guilt. "I love him. What's going on? What are you hiding from me, Ruth? I thought you were my friend!"

"Friends!" Ruth shouted in a shrill voice. "You've always been so concerned about having friends. Its love that counts, and Sharon and I love you."

"Yes, exactly, its love that counts," I said shakily. "I love Anton, he's my best friend and you know something."

I saw a strange expression cross Ruth's face and it suddenly hit me like a tonne of bricks crashing down.

"You've been in contact with him," I whispered. "You've heard from him."

"He wrote you," Ruth said without emotion.

"When?"

"About six months ago. I looked at the return address and saw who it was from, and so took the liberty of opening it for you."

"You had no right to do that."

"I had every right. Anyway, he wanted to know how you were doing and if he could come see you. I wrote back and told him you'd moved away and it was best he didn't try to contact you again."

"But why?" I asked brokenly, my legs weak and tears trickling steadily from my eyes.

"Patty, you can do better than him. Yes, he's a nice man, and sure he's clever, but he's an ex prisoner of war. If that ain't bad enough, he's German! You're Jewish; honey, it ain't right for you to see him. After everything people went through durin' the war, between the Germans and your kind."

"My kind? It wasn't just 'my kind' as you put it. And it wasn't every single damn German. They aren't all bad! You can't say every single one of them is a bad person. Anton wasn't a bad person!"

"Maybe not, but he still ain't right for you."

"You can't tell me that. I'm an adult now, and it's my decision. Where's my letter?"

"Gone. I didn't want you asking any questions so I thought it best to burn it."

"_Shit_! That was _my_ letter! How dare you?! Where is he? What was the address?"

"Patty, leave it. Just stay away from him and forget about it."

"No!" I screamed. "How can you do this to me? You, of all people! After all the hell I've been through, now my friends are turning against me. And I'll tell you something. Friends are important! I'd never had any until Anton. He was my only real friend! When you haven't got something it becomes important; you want it more and more."

"Can I say something?" Sharon interjected quietly and we turned to look at her. "The way I see it is Ruth was only doing what she thought was best for Patty, but Patty has a right to make her own decisions now she's an adult."

"I ain't getting any more involved if she wants to go running after that fellow," Ruth said, turning to walk away.

"Ruth," Sharon said firmly. "If Patty makes the decision to find Anton then it is your responsibility to at least tell her where he is, after you went and burnt something that was her property."

"Please," I whispered.

Ruth sighed, suddenly looking incredibly old and worn out. I realised that she truly was trying to protect me, even though it had hurt me.

"Jackson, Tennessee," she said softly, hanging her head.

"Right," I said firmly, "that's about three and a half hours by train, maybe four."

"I can't believe it," Sharon whispered, a smile lighting up her features. "You're really going to do it, aren't you Patty?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I am."

"I'm coming with you," Sharon said firmly.

"Now, I really don't think that's a good idea," Ruth said.

"You've done enough, thank you!" Sharon said haughtily, sounding an awful lot like our mother. "Besides, it's the summer holidays! Patty got her first adventure when she was twelve, and I've had to wait until I'm fifteen!"

"This is it then," I said. "Anton, I'm coming to find you!"


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: You people didn't honestly believe I'd let Ruth act like that of her own accord

**A/N: You people didn't honestly believe I'd let Ruth act like that of her own accord? Don't be silly! It's Ruth! 'Sif I'd change her character that much! Hehe. I am evil. But here is where I become nice again. Read on!**

**Chapter Eight.**

"So," I said firmly to Sharon, pointedly ignoring Ruth's pleading expression. "We'll have to get train tickets. The sooner, the better. We'll take a bag with food and warm clothes, because we might not find him straight away."

"Unless Ruth will tell us the address?" Sharon and I turned to face the woman who I'd thought was a dear friend.

"Honey, I don't remember," she said. "I didn't pay all that much attention to the street name. I was too surprised."

"Why would you be surprised?" I asked coldly. "When two people love each other and have been separated for years they generally want to find one another."

"Well it's no use involving me."

"You involved yourself when you read my letter and then burnt it."

From the strain on Ruth's face I could see she wanted to say something but was fighting the urge and she turned away, pain and hurt in her eyes. But right now I could have no sympathy.

"I'll go to the general store and buy a few things we might need," Sharon said. "After that I can head on down to the train station and see when the next train to Tennessee is."

"Okay, I'll sort some clothes out and we can use my suitcase," I said. "How long will you be?"

"No more than two hours at most I shouldn't think."

"Right."

Sharon went and rummaged for her purse before leaving the house and I turned to exit the room when Ruth's voice stopped me.

"Patty."

She said my name so softly it was almost a whisper. I turned to face her and barely recognised her. Tears were clinging to her dark lashes and her lower lip was trembling with emotion. She looked so forlorn and broken that my heart ached and all I wanted to do was run to her and hold her.

"I'm sorry," she whispered shakily and I nodded. I could see that she was.

"It's okay," I said, forgiving my dear friend.

"No, you don't understand," she said emphatically. "I'm sorry. May the Lord forgive me for my lies."

"Lies?" I queried. "You mean about the letter?"

"Honey, I didn't burn the letter."

"You didn't?" I whispered, shocked. "What… I don't understand any of this."

Ruth gave a heavy, suffering sigh and I knew there was more to this than I first suspected.

"When that letter came, about six months ago, I wasn't the one who found it," she explained slowly. "It was your daddy. He was real mad, but not yelling. He was so quiet, I almost couldn't hear him speaking. But I could see in his eyes how mad he was. He told me to burn it, to never let you see it. I don't think he ever told your mama about it, but I couldn't bring myself to burn it."

"But… did you read it?"

Ruth nodded. "I couldn't leave it sitting there without knowing what it said. I'm sorry."

"Why didn't you send it on to me?" I asked, my voice wavering with the effort not to cry.

"Because I knew I'd be out of a job if he found out I'd told you about it. I was so lucky that they actually kept me on all those years ago when I stuck up for you goin' off with Anton. I'm too old to find somewhere else to work, so I'll just stay here until I fall down I s'pose."

She sounded so sad and lost that I just didn't know what to say or what to do. My first instinct was to run over to her and hug her but I was afraid I might be rejected so I stood nervously, shifting my weight from one foot to the other and fiddling with a strand of my hair.

"Honey, you're right," she said, almost whimpering. "You do need friends. And love. That man loved you, and I've known that for years. He risked so much to protect you, just like you did for him. You were so grown up, even back then baby. I just… I want you to know how much I love you and I never meant to hurt you."

"I know," I said, tears leaking from my eyes. "I'm so sorry. For everything."

I couldn't contain my emotions any longer and ran into Ruth's arms as a bitter sob tore from my throat. I let the tears cascade down my cheeks and felt Ruth's own warm tears dripping onto my face as she held me. We stood there, sobbing and clinging to one another, much as Sharon and I had done the night before in the hideout, only this time the emotion was deeper, more painful.

"Baby, don't tell your parents where you and Sharon are going," Ruth whispered. "I don't know a thing about this. I know it's cowardly, but I don't want no more trouble. Make sure you take darn good care of yourself and your sister, and give Anton my love and best wishes when you find him."

"I will," I said, breaking away at last and wiping the tears from my cheeks and eyes. "Can I… can I have my letter? Please?"

Ruth didn't answer, just took my hand and led me outside. She guided me across the yard and towards the garage, before gesturing up towards the hideout.

"Your old friend Freddy took it up there and hid it for me," she said with a wry smile. "I'd have broken the ladder or gotten stuck if I'd tried!"

I attempted to laugh at the joke but could barely even smile. I glanced at Ruth's tired face before climbing up into the hideout and glancing around. It took me several minutes to spot the faded biscuit tin that had once stored shortbread, sitting in a dark corner. I ventured over and picked it up, inspecting the pictures on the lid. It showed young children dressed in their Sunday best, skipping along a cobbled street, presumably in England. There were beautiful prancing horses along the sides, and if it weren't slightly faded it would have been a very cheerful sight. Right now it just gave an enigmatic sense of nostalgia.

I took a deep breath and opened the lid. Inside was a photograph of me, taken when I was fourteen, playing with a seven year old Sharon in the sandbox. We were both smiling and laughing. Beneath it was an envelope. In just the six months it must have been sitting in here it had already yellowed slightly at the edges. With trembling fingers I managed to open it and extract the letter. The sight of Anton's beautiful, cursive handwriting made my heart beat slightly faster.

_My dearest P.B.,_

_It has been so long, anything I write will sound foolish. I shall start with something simple and say that I am hoping you are well, as am I. _

_I am unsure of whether or not you will still be at this address, but I hope that if, as I suspect, you have moved away, then this letter will still be passed onto you. _

_I know how long it has been, and perhaps you have moved on, but what I felt for you all those years ago has never lessened. If anything, it has grown. I respect and admire you in more ways than I could try to name. _

_I would love to see you again, and to see how you are doing. I understand if you do not want to see me again, but I sincerely hope that you do. _

_If you receive this letter then please write back to me. As you can see from the return address I am now living right here in America. It wasn't easy for me after I said goodbye, and I did not stay here. I managed to return to Germany and be with my family again, before eventually returning to America in the hope that I might find you. My adventures after we said goodbye were many, and it would be foolish to explain it all in a letter. If you wish to see me again then I can tell you all about it._

_No matter what you decide to do with this letter, I sincerely hope you are happy and healthy, and that you will remember our times together and have learnt positively from them. _

_My best wishes always,_

_Frederick Anton Reiker. _

The tears ran down my cheeks uncontrollably and I had to fold up the letter so as not to drip tears onto the ink. I closed the lid of the tin on the photograph and pushed it back into the corner, but placed the letter back into the envelope and pocketed it. I wiped my eyes and managed to clamber down from the hideout to see Ruth still waiting for me. She looked incredibly nervous.

"Thank you for letting me see it," I said softly. "Did you honestly write him back and tell him not to contact me?"

Ruth shook her head. "That's just what I told your father."

"So he never received a reply? He'll think I didn't want to see him ever again."

"Then he'll get a mighty fine surprise when you and Sharon show up on his doorstep," Ruth said with a small smile.

"So you were only doing what my father wanted before?" I asked cautiously. "You don't really think I shouldn't see him? Even though he's German and I'm Jewish?"

Ruth gave a great, booming laugh, her old self shining through once again. "Honey, if anything, that's even more reason why you should go and find him. It shows how special your love is. Ex prisoner of war or not, he is a wonderful man and you are a wonderful young woman."

"I think my emotions have been through a hurricane or something," I sighed. "I don't know how I feel."

"Honey," Ruth said seriously, gripping my upper arms. "I want you to know that I will never forgive myself for doing what your daddy said. It wasn't right, and you deserve to be happy. Now, I don't think you'll ever truly be happy until you've found Anton again. He saw something in you that I have always seen, but your parents still can't quite see. Hopefully he can make you see it in yourself."

"Huh?"

"Patty babe, you are so special. You don't belong in this little town. You belong with Anton, who is a good man, and you are gonna be happy. I love you baby. Now go on, get your suitcase packed, because you are gonna find him. Now, I don't know a thing, remember? So your parents shouldn't realise where you and Sharon have gone. If they do, I'm out of a job. But don't you let that stop you, girl! I'll be praying for you."

And with that she wrapped me into her warm embrace before giving me a gentle shove. I grinned, realising that Ruth had always been my friend and had never truly left me. She loved me, she believed in me, and she believed in the love I shared with Anton. With both Ruth and Sharon on my side, I knew I could face this next adventure in my life.

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**Please review and let me know what you thought! **


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: What ho, comrades! Ahem. I don't really know what to say, but felt I ought to say something at least, so this will do. Onwards, into the unknown! Hark! **

**Chapter Nine.**

I opened my suitcase and emptied it, before repacking it with the basic clothing that I'd need. A nice dress, for when I met Anton, my tailored jacket that I'd bought with my first pay check, a warm cardigan, dress shoes, sandals, a skirt and matching shirt, two pairs of nylon stockings and several pairs of underwear. I then headed into Sharon's bedroom and collected more or less the same out of her wardrobe and carted it back to my suitcase, folding everything neatly and did up the zipper.

I sighed when I lifted the suitcase. It was already quite heavy, and we didn't even have any food in there yet. We would have to take in turns carrying it. I touched my fingers to the simple chain I wore around my neck and felt the weight of Anton's ring dangling off it. I had felt relatively calm up until touching the ring, probably because I had been keeping busy, but when I felt its cool metal surface pressed against the skin of my fingertips a surge of anxiety ripped throughout my body and I had to sit down. Was I really game enough to do this?

Before I could change my mind the sound of Sharon's loud, energised singing came floating on the air and she skipped into view, blonde curls bouncing, grocery bag swinging. She spotted me sitting down in the shade of the house, picking at a blade of grass, and raced over.

"Whew!" she said, plopping down beside me. "This is so exciting!"

"I'm panicking," I said, sounding calmer than I felt.

"Well, don't," she said reasonably, smiling happily.

"Sorry. So, are you going to show me the loot?"

Sharon laughed her pretty laugh, and opened the grocery bag. "A new flashlight, some waterproof matches, a large candle, several tins of soup, a loaf of bread and a slab of cheese."

I laughed. "How much did that cost you? And how did you afford it?"

"I know where Daddy keeps some spare cash. I'm sure he won't miss it that much."

"Sharon!"

"What?"

We both laughed hysterically before carting the groceries over to my suitcase and arranging them neatly. The zipper only just did up. And unfortunately, it was even heavier now.

"Oh, there is no way we can carry this," Sharon groaned as she attempted to heave it along the ground.

"Stop whining, we'll take in turns. What time does the next train to Tennessee leave?"

"Five. And you calculated wrong."

"Eh?"

"You said it'd take about three and a half hours, maybe four. It's a lot longer than that, Patty."

"How long?"

"Probably about six and a half hours straight there, but half hour stops at a few major stations, plus it's not direct. We'll have to change trains at Memphis."

"I think I might just scream."

"It's not impossible. I've managed to locate enough money to get us there."

"Locate? You mean steal, from our father."

"Big deal. He owes you."

"Fair enough. So run this by me, roughly how long will it take to get to Tennessee?"

"Just an estimate, about nine and a half to ten hours."

"Oh… My…"

"Patty! Deep breath."

"This is crazy!" I leapt to my feet and began pacing in circles, cursing under my breath. "I can't do this! _We_ can't do this!"

"Yes, we can!" Sharon said, also jumping to her feet and gripping my upper arms painfully. "It'll be fine, trust me. It's for Anton."

I burst into tears. I couldn't help it. My emotions had been through one hell of a storm and I was tired and scared and everything was just catching up on me. I couldn't take much more of this stress.

"Patty, don't you dare fall apart on me now," Sharon said warningly. "We are going to do this. Together. And I demand to be at your wedding."

"I can't marry Anton," I sobbed.

"What? Why not?" Sharon demanded, confusion on her face.

"I'm Jewish."

"So?"

"So Anton's not!"

"So?!"

"Well we can't have a Jewish wedding, or a Christian one, because we're not both the same religion. Besides, who says he'll even want to marry me?"

"I didn't realise you were intent on having a Jewish wedding."

"I'm not. I don't care about that. I haven't exactly been strictly religious since the war. All those people killed, and Anton and I not allowed to be friends, all because of stupid things like nationality and religion."

"So convert to Christianity."

"I can't. I don't want to."

"So you want to be Jewish?"

"I don't want to be anything!"

"So reject your faith!"

"But I can't!"

"Why not?"

"Because," I sighed. "As much as I hate all the controversy religions have caused, I still somehow want to believe in something. I'm so confused."

"Let's not think about this now, hey? Let's just head down to the station so we can sort out our tickets. We have to be there at least half an hour before the train leaves anyway, and we can have some lunch while we're waiting. Come on."

"I want to say goodbye to Ruth first."

"Obviously."

I took a deep breath. I really, really didn't like goodbyes, and I knew this one would be awkward.

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**I'd much appreciate some more reviews, because things are moving along now. So if you've been reading this but not reviewing, start reviewing! I want to know what people think!**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Sorry for the delay in posting, but school has been incredibly hectic. I'll try to have another chapter up in a few days. Enjoy. **

**Chapter Ten.**

Ruth was hovering nervously in the kitchen, and a look of relief crossed her tired face when I entered the room. I realised she must have been expecting me to leave without saying goodbye. I really didn't know what to say to her.

"So," I began, feeling foolish. "I guess this is goodbye, then."

"No, honey," she said softly. "Don't say that; it sounds like one of them films that are over-acted."

I smiled. "I'll be back, though."

"'Course you will. To collect the last of your stuff."

"Why does everyone seem to think I'm going off to find Anton so we can live happily ever after? Life isn't like that, Ruth."

"I know, Patty babe, but maybe for you it will be. Even if it's not with Anton, you deserve to be happy. After all you've been through…"

"I don't think life was ever meant to be easy."

"No. But God knows best, and if He wants to make it hard for you now, then it can only be 'cause he wants to make you stronger, or so you can appreciate what's good in life when you get it."

"Thank you," I said. "Not just for saying that, but for everything. I love you."

"I love you too, Patty," Ruth said tearfully and pulled me into her arms. "Be safe, and look after both yourself and Sharon."

"I will. And you take care, too. Don't let my parents bully you."

"Thank you, baby."

We stood there for several minutes, Ruth and I, just holding each other. When at last I pulled away I knew somehow that there was nothing else to say, not now, because I would see her again one day, and so I left silently.

Sharon was waiting outside for me with the suitcase. She seemed to sense that I didn't want to talk, so she took hold of the suitcase's handle and started to walk. I followed.

It was a fair walk to the train station, and the summer sun was beating down upon us, but Sharon didn't complain. I could see she was struggling with the heavy suitcase and sweat had matted her blonde hair to her forehead, but she didn't say anything. I decided that if she could last until the station then I would be responsible for the case for the rest of our journey.

Finally we arrived, and I let Sharon sit down and rest while I organised our tickets and had our luggage checked, then we wandered into the tiny cafeteria to have lunch. It was cramped and smelled as though something was burning. We both had lemonade, which was nice and cold, and Sharon had a salad sandwich while I ordered a toasted cheese roll. We even treated ourselves to an ice cream each afterwards.

It was quite fun to watch all the other people and wonder what their stories were. Who were they? Where were they going? What problems had they faced in their lives? Eventually it was time to board our train, so we organised our tickets and luggage, and on we went. We had a nice little compartment which we were sharing with a young mother and her child. He had a sweet face and dimpled cheeks when he smiled, and Sharon was instantly smitten.

"Hello," Sharon said softly to him. "What's your name?"

"Thomas," he said shyly, smiling up at her.

"And how old are you, Thomas?"

"Three!" he exclaimed proudly, gaining confidence with every smile.

"And is this your first time on a train?"

He nodded, grinning and bouncing excitedly. I smiled at the child's mother, who looked somewhat nervous. She smiled back and I saw that she was probably only about my age, maybe a year or two older.

"My name's Patty," I said to her while Sharon started a game of peek-a-boo with little Thomas.

"Janet," she replied. "I'm just hoping he'll stay in a good mood all the way to Memphis."

"I'm sure my sister will keep him entertained for you. I lived in Memphis for a while."

"We're moving there. I'm quite nervous actually, because we're moving in with an old aunt of mine who I haven't seen for years. I hope she won't be as crabby as she was when I was a child."

"I'm sure she'll mellow out when she sees Thomas. He's sweet."

"He's part of the problem," Janet sighed. "Aunt Beth doesn't really approve of… Oh, I don't know."

"You're not married?" I asked gently.

"I was. But I left him. Aunt Beth doesn't agree with me doing that. Apparently it's a wife's job to stand by her husband and provide him with a string of children, no matter what."

"I read in the papers, when I was in Memphis, that divorce rates are getting higher. A few years back you wouldn't leave your husband, but it's the fifties now after all. Things are changing."

"I hope you're right," Janet sighed. "I just… I couldn't stay with Pete, because he was setting such a bad example for Thomas."

"What was he doing, if you don't mind me asking?" I queried gently.

"He was always drinking, and gambling, and when he was upset…" Janet faltered. "He'd…"

"Hit you," I finished quietly and Janet nodded. "I know. My father used to hit me. I hated it."

After that, talking became easy. Sharon played games with Thomas and told him stories, while Janet and I talked as though we were long lost sisters. I felt I could tell her anything and she wouldn't judge me. This must be what it's like to have a best friend, I realised. I hoped we would keep in touch after we went our separate ways.

Several hours and countless stops later, it was well into the night and we'd reached Memphis. Thomas was asleep and started grumbling when Janet woke him, and she and I had exchanged life stories. Well, all except for the Anton part. I didn't want to talk about that. We all trooped off the train and onto the platform. I turned to Sharon.

"What time does the train we have to take to Tennessee get in?" I asked.

"Not sure. We'll have to ask."

Janet gave us a strange look. "There aren't any other trains tonight."

"What?!" I cried. "But… Sharon! Dammit."

"Well I'm sorry," she snapped. "I didn't realise."

"I thought you looked into it all."

"Well…"

"You can spend the night with me if you like," Janet offered. "Aunt Beth can't get much grumpier than she already is, and it'd be nice to have some support for the first night."

"And you can tell gooder stories, Sharon," Thomas said sweetly. "I want a bedtime story."

"Better, not gooder," Sharon corrected gently. "And that would be wonderful, thank you so much."

I sighed as I hauled our suitcase along behind Janet and Thomas. Sharon touched my arm gently.

"Don't let this get you down too much," she said softly. "It's just one more stop on the way to finding Anton. It's just a small delay. Don't rush things."

"I know," I said wearily. "I'm sorry. I just want to get this over and done with, because the more I think about it the madder it seems."

"Mad is good. Now come on, we have to meet Aunt Beth."

I groaned.


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Wow. I didn't expect this chapter to turn out the way it did, but sometimes when I write, it just all comes out. There's not much point in me planning my writing, because it all just changes and flows out of some hidden part of my mind. I rather like Aunt Beth now, I've decided. I didn't before. Anyway, please review and let me know what you think of this chapter. Also, we now have a category for Summer of my German Soldier!! Take advantage, and start writing!**

**Chapter Eleven. **

'Aunt Beth' lived in a poky little flat that was barely big enough for half a person, so I couldn't see how Janet expected to raise her son here, let alone have Sharon and I stay the night. I felt my heart hammering in my chest as Janet knocked on the door and we waited for some kind of response. Even Thomas looked nervous.

At last the door creaked open, with a deathly screech like something from a nightmare, and an elderly woman poked her head outside. The light glinted menacingly off her large glasses, behind which I could see small, watery blue eyes that flickered across all our faces individually, obviously sizing us up and making a quick impression. I could tell that those beady blue eyes never missed a thing.

"Hello, Aunt Beth," Janet said with a nervous smile. "I met some friends on the train and they have nowhere to stay; could we possibly let them stay for one night?"

Aunt Beth merely grunted, before opening the door widely and shuffling back inside. Janet glanced at me and shrugged, before motioning for us to follow her inside. The flat smelt quite strongly of mothballs, and the light was dull. It clearly hadn't been renovated since the thirties. We hovered nervously in the kitchen, Aunt Beth eyeing us all up again.

"Aunt Beth," Janet ventured, "This is Sharon and Patty Bergen. They're sisters."

"Bergen, eh?" Aunt Beth seemed to perk up slightly, before turning to Thomas. "And this is your young pup?"

"I'm Thomas," he said with a wide grin, suddenly gaining confidence now that the attention was directed towards him. "And Mummy won't buy me a pup. She says they make too much mess and they do toilet everywhere."

Janet blushed, Thomas beamed, Sharon and I tried to shrink slightly, and finally Aunt Beth smirked.

"Well, Thomas, your mother is probably right. Tea, anyone?"

There was a collective sigh of relief and the mood seemed to lighten drastically. Aunt Beth set about making a pot of tea whilst asking all the usual polite questions; how have you been? How was the train ride? She even asked Sharon and I about what had brought us to Memphis. We told her that we were on our way to Tennessee.

"Tennessee, eh?" She sucked in her sagging cheeks thoughtfully. "And Bergen, you said?"

I nodded.

"Patty and Sharon Bergen, going to Tennessee. Very interesting."

"Sorry Miss," I said as politely as I could, "but how is that interesting?"

"Call me Aunt Beth," she said sharply. "I may not be your Aunt, but I'd rather you called me that."

"Okay."

"Ah, tea is ready. Sugar, anyone?"

"I beg your pardon, Aunt Beth," I interrupted, still trying to be polite. "But you didn't answer my question."

"Sorry, did you ask me something?"

I got the distinct impression that she was being deliberately vague. She was avoiding the question, which made me think she was hiding something.

"Why is it interesting that a couple of Bergens are going to Tennessee?" I couldn't word it any more clearly than that. No escaping the question now.

"I used to be a Bergen," Aunt Beth said and I nearly fell off my chair.

"You what?" Sharon and I spluttered together. Janet looked quite surprised herself. Thomas was too busy playing with a saucepan and wooden spoon to even notice the conversation.

"Oh, no need to look so worried," she said with a soft chortle. "It is a very common last name, and I do not believe we are in any way related. No, it is not that which interests me so much."

"What, then?"

"Perhaps almost a year gone now, I went on a well-earned holiday. To Germany."

"I never knew that," Janet said in surprise.

"We never communicated regularly, Janet. There is a lot you do not know, and even more that you will never know."

"That sounds so dramatic," Sharon said dreamily with a little shiver. It was the most she'd spoken since we arrived here.

"Perhaps," Aunt Beth said, her watery blue eyes sparkling with life.

"Why did you go to Germany?" I asked curiously. "What made you want to go there, of all places?"

Aunt Beth sighed wearily, and it was only now that I realised how old and tired she looked. "I went there, purely because it is where I have wanted to go since 1917."

"What? Why?" Sharon asked in confusion. "The Great War didn't end until 1918, and Germany was the enemy back then too. We learnt about it in school."

"Do you know what happened in 1917?" Aunt Beth queried and we all shook our heads. Obviously our education didn't ring any particular bells about that year.

"That year was when the German navy began sinking our ships and causing problems. I was a young widow back then. My husband had gone to fight in France and had been killed by gunfire. I wanted a fresh start, and wanted to help our side win the war against those who had killed my husband. I moved to the coastline to work as a nurse in the nearby hospital."

I really wanted her to get to the point, but assumed this was all relevant so decided to be patient. It was kind of interesting to hear this, anyway.

"We generally treated our own seamen who had been injured by their ships having been bombed or sunk, but one day roughly a dozen German sailors with various injuries were brought in. They had been out in a little boat, for some reason I never found out, and their boat had been more or less blown apart by a nearby battle between ships."

I shivered, imagining the terror they must have felt, injured and helpless in the enemy's land.

"Well, a few of us nurses, we had a little protest. 'Why should we treat the enemy?' we asked. 'Why should we try to save those who attempted to kill our own men?' Our protests were ignored and we were told to obey our orders or to get out. Obviously, not wanting to cause a fuss, I quietened down and began tending to the nearest sailor."

Aunt Beth stopped and sighed. "I don't know whether I ought to continue. You may not want to hear this."

"Oh, go on!" Sharon and Janet urged.

"Honestly, it can't be as bad as my own war experiences," I said, and Aunt Beth gave me a long, piercing stare with those beady blue eyes of hers. I don't know what she saw in my own eyes, but whatever it was seemed to give her strength. Tea long forgotten, we sat forward eagerly to hear what she had to say.

"The sailors all had various injuries. Some were cut and bruised badly, some burnt from the heat of the bombing, some with hypothermia. The sailor I tended to was shivering and blue, with a nasty gash across his forehead. I wanted to hate them. Oh, I wanted to. But seeing them so pitiful and helpless, I realised that they were people. They were my patients, and it was my job to help them recover."

I was sitting nearest to Aunt Beth and I was glad of this, pressing my hand encouragingly over hers. She smiled thankfully.

"This first patient became a particular favourite of mine. He refused to speak at first, but eventually as his health got better he came out of his shell, so to speak. He had quite a sense of humour, and was very charming."

Aunt Beth smiled apologetically and suddenly I knew what had happened.

"You fell in love with him," Sharon said, reading my thoughts.

"I didn't even realise I had at first," Aunt Beth said. "It wasn't until he was well enough to be discharged and I realised he wasn't going home to recuperate further. This man was a Prisoner of War."

I shivered, thinking of Anton, and Sharon obviously noticed because she gave me a reassuring smile. Janet shook her head.

"My own family and I never even knew this," she said.

"You never asked," Aunt Beth said indignantly. "You always were a renegade, disrespectful child. I did my best to keep you in line when you visited."

"You were always crabby, so of course I rebelled," Janet huffed and Aunt Beth chuckled.

"Perhaps I was somewhat a disgruntled old woman. But perhaps I can make up for it now, by being as warm as I can towards your young son."

We all turned to gaze at Thomas, who had fallen asleep on the kitchen floor, wooden spoon still gripped in his small hand. He was dribbling on the saucepan handle.

"He asked me to marry him," Aunt Beth continued suddenly and we all turned back to face her. "The day he had to leave, he proposed."

"And did you say yes?" Sharon asked, bouncing excitedly.

"No," Aunt Beth sighed sadly, surprising us all. "I wanted to say yes. My heart screamed for me to do so. But somehow I knew it was impossible, because he was a Prisoner of War, and who knew what would happen to him? I'd most likely never see him again after that day."

"So what happened after that?" Janet asked.

"He was taken away from the hospital and I never heard from him again," Aunt Beth said. "I never could fall in love again, which is why I remained alone all this time. At last, perhaps twelve months ago now, I decided to sell my home and spend the profits on a trip to Germany, using the last of my money to purchase this flat on my return."

"Did you find out what happened to him?" I asked, my heart sinking at the sadness in her blue eyes.

"Not a single record of him," she sighed.

"So it was a waste of time selling your house," Sharon said sympathetically.

"Not at all," Aunt Beth said, perking up again. "Quite the contrary, in fact. I met a young man whilst I was there. A very interesting young man."

"What was his name?" I asked, my heart skipping a beat.

"Ah, that can wait," Aunt Beth replied, her blue eyes twinkling. "Before that, you must know how I met him. But we must have a cup of tea."

There was a chorus of protest around the table, and Aunt Beth sat back down in surprise. I grinned at her.

"I think we're all more interested in your stories than having some tea."

"Very well," Aunt Beth said with a smile. "When I arrived in Germany I checked into my hotel. That night I decided to dine at one of the better restaurants. I thought I deserved a treat after living through the disastrous boat journey there. I had a small table in the corner on my own, and realised I couldn't understand a word on the menu. The man who had guided me to my seat spoke English, but he was off tending to another customer. The young man at the next table obviously sensed my confusion because he approached me."

"What did he say?" Janet asked when Aunt Beth paused for breath.

"He was very polite. 'Excuse me Madam, forgive me for prying, but are you not from here?' He had very good English. He spoke very precisely, as though choosing each word very carefully."

That sounded awfully familiar to me.

"I told him I was from America, and that I could not understand the menu, and he helped me to translate it. We spent the rest of the evening chatting across from our separate tables. I found out that he lived alone because his family lived miles away, and he didn't have any friends anymore. Every Friday night he would dine at that particular restaurant to cheer his mood. When I decided it was time to leave, he gave me his telephone number and instructed me to contact him at any time I needed assistance."

"How sweet of him," Sharon said.

"Indeed. The very next day I contacted him, asking if he knew how I could locate an old friend. He picked me up almost immediately, and did his best to help me, but to no avail. There was no record of the man I had once loved."

Janet and Sharon clucked sympathetically, but I had the uneasy feeling she had something important to reveal.

"I became quite distressed and the gentleman took me back to my hotel and comforted me. I asked him why he was being so kind, and he told me that I reminded him of his grandmother. That cheered me up immensely. He was kind and considerate, and eventually he asked me to enlighten me as to who this man had been, and why he was so important."

"You told him," I said, not even needing to ask. She nodded.

"I was cautious at first, knowing that I had almost betrayed my country by falling in love with the enemy, but as he was German himself and was assisting me, and both wars were long over, I told him everything. He held my hand while I cried. Then he told me something incredible. He had fallen in love with the enemy, too. During the last war. A young Jewish girl had saved his life, and he had never forgotten her. A girl with the last name Bergen."

Aunt Beth let this sentence hover in the air for a moment, allowing its impact to sink in, before continuing.

"I only remembered the surname because it used to be mine, many years ago. I have forgotten her first name. This gentleman told me that it was his dream to return to America, in an attempt to find the girl he loved. I encouraged him to do so. He told me that meeting me, and hearing my story, had given him the confidence and that he would indeed do so."

"It's him, isn't it," Sharon said, addressing me. I didn't acknowledge it, just waited for Aunt Beth to continue.

"I informed this young man that I owned a house in Tennessee. Quite run down, no electricity, but he could stay there if he wanted. He thanked me profusely, and as far as I know, this German gentleman is living in Tennessee, hoping to find a Bergen girl who saved him during the last war and stole his heart."

Aunt Beth finished with a sigh and smiled broadly at us all. I wanted to faint.

"It was Anton, wasn't it," I stated rather than asked. Aunt Beth nodded.

"Yes, it was. And you, Patty Bergen, are the girl who saved him. The girl he loves."

"Oh, shoot," I said, taking a deep breath, wondering if my heart had broken yet.

"Now," Aunt Beth said matter-of-factly. "I told you my story, Anton once told me his side of a story, but now I want to hear yours."

"It's quite long," I warned.

"We have all night. You can sleep on the train to Tennessee."

"Wait for me," Janet said firmly. "I'll put Thomas to bed, then I'll be right back."

We waited in silence for Janet to return and then, taking a deep breath, I spent the next few hours telling them my story.


	12. Chapter 12

A/N: Eek

**A/N: Eek. DiamondSkin pointed out that Memphis is actually in Tennessee. I'm Australian, so I didn't know that. So, it's kinda stupid that I've had them in Memphis, already IN TENNESSEE saying they are going to go to Tennessee. They're already there!! Needless to say, I feel like an idiot. But do not fear! I'm changing Tennessee to Nashville from now on, which is the capital of Tennessee. So they are now heading from Memphis to Nashville. Hopefully that's not in the direction they just came… But I'm taking creative liberties!! Dare not challenge me!!**

**Also, Frogster, I was going to have a summary of Patty and Anton's story but decided I didn't have time, so sorry about that. **

**Anyways, enjoy!**

**Chapter Twelve.**

"So you see," I explained when at last I finished retelling them my and Anton's tale, "I can't help but wonder how he is. After all that we shared together, I just want to see him, even if it is just the once. I want to know that what we had was real, and that I wasn't just a child who imagined it."

There was silence around the table, and one glance at Sharon's face told me that she hadn't heard the story in its entirety. She was quite obviously shocked. So was Janet. Aunt Beth, however, remained calm, her sharp blue eyes searching my face for something. I didn't know what, though. At last she found it, and took a deep breath.

"Patty, something about you suggests to me that you are very afraid."

"Well, of course I'm afraid," I said, confused but Aunt Beth smiled.

"I wasn't referring to the obvious. I believe that you are afraid of yourself."

"Myself?" I asked dubiously. "I don't get it."

"You quite clearly do not believe in yourself. You are afraid that you will handle things the wrong way, that you have interpreted his feelings incorrectly, and you appear to blame yourself for all that has gone wrong in your life."

"That's not…"

"That is how I see it. From what you told me, the gain of independence when you lived here in Memphis, had a job and a boyfriend, did wonders for your confidence but it was still only on the surface. You may not have realised it yourself, but you are still afraid that you are not good enough. You are scared of yourself, and what mistakes you might make next."

Aunt Beth leaned forward before continuing, emphasising each word. "You are not at fault. What's done is done, and you can only move forward. Do not punish yourself by thinking the worst. Just wait until you arrive at Nashville and see what is waiting for you. Do not distress yourself with contemplating the negative possibilities. Just enjoy the trip, and think of it as a holiday."

"Easier said than done," I scoffed.

"And you don't think I was afraid when I went to Germany?" Aunt Beth asked sharply. "You don't think I was afraid by what I might find? I found out that the man I had loved didn't even exist. Whether he used a false name during the war, I will never know, but I could find no trace of him. I still don't know whether he was killed all those years ago, or whether he is still alive."

I wanted to sink into the floor. What an insensitive, selfish fool I was being! And that's when it hit me. I gazed around the table and realised I was not alone. I never had been. Even back when I was twelve, I'd had Ruth and Charlene Madlee on my side. And now I had my sister, and I had Janet, and most importantly I had Aunt Beth, who knew exactly how I was feeling and what I was going through.

"I'm sorry," I whimpered before breaking down into tears. Sharon held me while I cried, Janet put the kettle on, and Aunt Beth waited for me to stop shaking before she spoke again.

"I do not want you to apologise, Patty," she said quietly. "You are tired, you are frightened, and you are also hopeful. You are desperately hoping that things won't have changed between Anton and yourself."

I nodded, wiping my eyes.

"I'm sorry to tell you this," she said, "but things _will_ have changed. Not drastically, I expect, but you are both older now. It won't be all running around and having adventures. These are your lives, your futures that depend on your actions now. Your feelings for one another may not have changed, but what you both want will have. You will both be expecting something out of this meeting, but you may not realise what it is until you are together."

My eyelids felt swollen and heavy from crying, and it was well past midnight. I tried to stifle a yawn so as I could continue the conversation, but Aunt Beth's sharp blue eyes really didn't miss a thing.

"Go to bed," she instructed, "and we can talk in the morning."

So Sharon and I made ourselves comfortable on the sagging couch which folded out into a large bed. It was very squishy and cosy, but if I rolled too close to the middle I got jarred in the back by a loose spring. Other than that, it was rather nice. Excluding the musty smell. But it really was quite comfortable… My eyes felt so heavy… It barely took a minute for me to fall asleep. And it seemed like barely minutes later that I was awoken by a shrill scream.

"Whashappning?" I slurred sleepily, sitting up. Sharon sat bolt upright beside me. It took us a moment to realise that nobody was screaming after all; the kettle was boiling and whistling.

"It's morning," Sharon said in surprise. The sunlight was glaring in through the dusty windows, and I groaned.

"We must've only slept for five minutes," I whined. "I didn't even have time to dream."

"It's morning!" Thomas announced, running into the room and grinning at us.

"So I can see," Sharon muttered.

"Your hair is fluffy," Thomas pointed out sweetly, and I noticed that Sharon's blonde curls were quite tousled from sleep and sticking out at strange angles. I giggled. Sharon glared, and then looked at me.

"Baha!" she exclaimed, pointing at my head.

"What was that in English?" I asked in amusement.

"Your hair is worse than mine," she said in a sing-song voice. I patted my hair and realised that it desperately needed to be combed.

"Come on, sleepyheads," Janet announced, wandering into the tiny living room. "I'm about to cook scrambled eggs on toast."

Sharon and I grumbled and complained, much to the amusement of Janet and Aunt Beth, who were clearly early risers. Thomas did his best to be a good host, desperately wanting to fetch us a glass of milk, but began to cry when he realised he couldn't reach the cupboard where glasses were kept.

Breakfast was an enjoyable affair, and we all chatted and laughed. I glanced at Sharon and saw that she was thinking the same as me: this is what it is like to have a happy, loving family.

After that Sharon and I took turns in the bathroom, freshening ourselves up for the day ahead. The train for Nashville left just after lunch. It was when I was folding the couch back up that Aunt Beth cornered me.

"It has been a delight to meet you, Patty," she said softly. "You remind me so much of myself at your age. From what you told me, you are a very strong young lady. You risked so much for Anton, and he for you. I do not believe something like that will ever be forgotten. I want you to be brave, and to not lose your heart, dear. You can do this."

"Do you really think I can, though?" I asked doubtfully.

"I'm certain of it," Aunt Beth said. "Because if you are anything like me, and I believe you are, then you will go to him. It took me years and years to try to find my love, and I believe I left it too late. I may have found him if I had gone sooner, but I let time get away from me. Do not make the same mistake, Patty. Go to him. No matter what you find when you reach him, at least you will have closure."

Closure. Isn't that the word Sharon used when I told her of my dream? Maybe that really was what I needed. Closure.

"Thank you, Aunt Beth," I said. "For everything."

The old woman just smiled, before leaving me to finish tidying up.

Too soon it was time to leave. We had to walk to the train station, and then it was on to Nashville. To Anton. Saying goodbye was heartbreaking, because these people had changed my life. Thomas wouldn't let go of Sharon, and Janet cried on my shoulder. When I came to Aunt Beth I embraced her, and she held me surprisingly tight for such a small, frail woman.

"Good luck," she whispered in my ear and I smiled. I would need it.


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: This story really is taking on a life of its own, and I am putting so many of my own issues into this. You'll see a hint of the ol' jumping to conclusions, stereotyping, etc. in this chapter. I've really tried to show how I think Patty and Sharon would be at this point in their lives, and the people they have become. This sort of stuff helps people show their true colours, you know? I don't think I'm making any sense… I guess what I mean is, I was trying to express a lot of stuff in this chapter, and I hope you guys can see that. Please review, and make my day :) **

Chapter Thirteen.

Somehow, we nearly missed the train. We got to the station early, sorted out our luggage and tickets, before settling down in the tiny station café for sandwiches. We didn't talk much, both too consumed with our own thoughts. Eventually we realised it was past boarding time and made a mad dash to the platform. We got on just in time.

Sharon and I staggered into our compartment, huffing and panting, only to be met by the disapproving glares from two fellow passengers. We smiled weakly at the middle-aged couple who promptly went back to their respective tasks: he reading a newspaper and she knitting something multi-coloured. I felt distinctly awkward as I took my seat and I could tell Sharon felt the same. I realised that it would be a fairly long and quiet journey.

Eventually I figured out that it was more interesting to watch the middle-aged couple rather than the scenery flashing past outside the window. They obviously thought they were upper-class, although it was clear to me that they were only your average citizens. Mrs Snobby immersed herself in knitting what was beginning to look like a brightly coloured stripy umbrella, whereas Mr Snobby was now doing the crossword. Every now and then he would pause to pat his wife's knee affectionately before returning to his activity. His wife didn't even acknowledge him. Occasionally she would glance up and meet my eyes, give a disapproving sniff, before returning to her knitting. I made a point of smiling widely at her every time, and that made her look distinctly uncomfortable.

It was about halfway through our journey, whilst Sharon and I were snacking on mixed nuts, when Mrs Snobby began to sob. She tossed her knitting at the window in such a way that my heart almost broke from vicarious pain. The action had not been one of anger or frustration, but instead one of grief. Her husband dropped his newspaper and took the shaking woman into his arms, holding her tightly and protectively. I suddenly realised that she hadn't been ignoring her husband as such; she'd been trying to remain strong.

Sharon silently got to the floor and picked up the newspaper, straightening the pages and folding it in half, whilst I picked up the colourful bundle of wool and needles. It suddenly struck me that what I was holding was a knitted doll for a small child, almost completed. I felt a sudden wave of nausea as I realised that this doll would never be held by the child it was meant for.

"What happened?" I asked quietly, still holding the incomplete doll.

"Our… our first grandchild," the woman sobbed. "A little girl…"

She was clearly too grief-stricken to go on and her husband took over, still holding her tightly.

"We were so disappointed when we found out our daughter was pregnant," he said quietly. "She's only eighteen. But the father is good to her, he has money and they are now engaged."

He paused for a moment before continuing.

"After a while we warmed to the idea and were quite looking forward to having a grandchild."

His voice cracked and he removed his glasses to wipe his eyes. I wanted to reach out and reassure him somehow, but didn't.

"Mavis has been knitting outfits and toys for the past few months," he said, smiling tenderly at his wife. "Last night we received a call that Kat had miscarried. Quite dangerously, and is in hospital for observation. It was only another month and a half until she was due…"

"It was a little girl," Mavis choked out. "They called her Millie…"

"We're going to help Max look after Kat. Millie's ceremony is next week. They won't have a proper funeral for her."

"Finish the doll," I said gently, holding it out to Mavis, who took it back hesitantly. "Have it buried with Millie."

"She'll love something beautiful from her grandma to play with in Heaven," Sharon said softly, which brought tears on for all of us.

Finally, once we'd arrived at Nashville and given our best wishes to the couple, Sharon shook her head at me.

"What?" I asked, noticing her bemused expression.

"You," she said, her eyes searching mine. "You make a difference everywhere you go. You help people. You're really special, and I'm starting to think you're like a guardian angel or something."

I laughed. "What do you mean?"

"Anton, Janet and Thomas, Aunt Beth, that couple we just met. You help people. You always seem to know what to say. You can read people. You…"

Suddenly a look of confusion, followed by realisation crossed her face.

"Patty!" she shrieked.

"What?!" I spun around, in my wildest dreams hoping Anton was behind me.

"I have a new job for you!" Sharon exclaimed happily and I wanted to hit her. "A new career!"

"Doing what?" I asked dubiously.

"You're good at helping people, and talking, and I know you love it too. So how about helping people for a living?"

"Eh?"

"Work at one of those special camps for kids with bad backgrounds, or talk to people with problems and stuff. Like Janet, who left her man because he hit her, or that couple we just met who lost a family member."

"You want me to be like a counsellor or something?"

Sharon nodded in excitement. "You'd be perfect!"

Patty Bergen: Counsellor Extraordinaire. I liked the idea, but I'd need to get lots of training. I was up for it, I realised. Sharon was right. I loved helping people. That's what I wanted to do.

"You're a genius," I laughed.

"You can help others," she said slowly, "but you still don't believe in yourself."

"Well, maybe I just need to find someone to help me," I retorted.

"Holy kosher cow!" Sharon exclaimed suddenly and I snorted with laughter. "We're in Nashville!"

"You're right," I said with a laugh. "Let's find somewhere to stay, and then we can find Anton."

"Yay!" Sharon started skipping in circles, people stared, and I felt genuinely, truly happy as I laughed at her.

…………………………………………………………………………………..

"Phew, it's really hot," Sharon said, fanning herself with her hands.

"You're not the one carrying the suitcase," I grunted as we walked along a street with the summer sun beating down upon us. "How far away is this darn motel, anyway?"

"Don't say darn," Sharon chided jokingly. "Y'know, sometimes _I_ feel like the older sister. And I think that might be it, there."

"Oh, boy."

It was small. Very small. But when we walked in and realised it was clean, with flowers arranged neatly on the counter, we figured it wasn't too bad. The lady who checked us in and handed us a key was very polite and friendly. She was only about my age, with blonde curls that bobbed gaily, and she reminded me slightly of Sharon. She told us that if we needed anything, just to give her a yell. Her name was Louisa.

Sharon was so happy to have arrived that she took the suitcase and hobbled off with it as fast as she could. I followed, feeing light and free, though whether it was emotionally or the lack of suitcase, I wasn't sure.

The room was small, but comfortable, with two little beds that were nice and soft. There was a musty smell, but we soon got used to it and made ourselves busy unpacking. There was a small, dried sprig of lavender in the wardrobe which Sharon somehow found to be quite touching. It made me sneeze. There was a knock at the door and Sharon opened it whilst I folded a few more items of clothing. I heard Louisa's voice and stepped over to her.

"I was just havin' a think," she said brightly. "You two girls look like you'd enjoy some good music! There's the Nashville Symphony Orchestra having a concert on tomorrow night, and there are plenty of places to hear a bit of our local country tunes."

"Sounds interesting," I said politely.

"It sure is," Louisa enthused. "If you felt like headin' on down to Lower Broadway and Printer's Alley there are plenty of honky-tonk bars and clubs if you want a night out. Although, you probably won't be comin' back here the same night, 'cause folk tend to get carried away, so you'll need to be careful about that."

"I'm only fifteen," Sharon piped up and I rolled my eyes. Ever the good girl, she had to be honest.

"Well, I wouldn't have known!" Louisa said in surprise. "You could easily pass for an adult."

Sharon smiled gratefully, but I decided it probably was better if we didn't go out to clubs. We had a job to do here. Suddenly I had an idea.

"Hey Louisa," I said. "Could you help me with something?"

"Well Patty, I'll certainly do my very best," she said gaily. "What do you need?"

"I need to find someone," I said. "Someone I haven't seen since I was a kid. I don't know anything except his name and that he lives somewhere here in Nashville."

"Oh, shoot," Sharon muttered. "He's staying at Aunt Beth's old place, isn't he?"

"Oh, I completely forgot about that," I said and cursed fiercely. Louisa's eyes widened slightly. "We should've got the address!"

"You'd think Aunt Beth could've told us," Sharon said huffily. "Unless she just wanted to make it more difficult for us."

"Why would she do that?"

"Either to give you a chance to prove yourself, or to make it as difficult as it was for her."

"Stupid idea."

"Hello?" Louisa said cautiously. "What's goin' on?"

"Oh, sorry," I apologised. "Basically, I need to find someone called Frederick Anton Reiker, who lives in an old house somewhere here in Nashville."

"Well, Patty, Nashville ain't small," Louisa said. "This motel might be tiny, but the place it's in certainly ain't. You could try the telephone directory? There's one down in the lobby."

"No better place to start," Sharon pointed out, and I agreed. We followed Louisa down to the lobby and my heart fluttered at the thought of finally finding Anton. It had all been rather like a dream up until now, when it was actual reality. I couldn't wait.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Now, this chapter involves a little rude word at one point, so that's a warning there. **

**Also, it involves a panic attack with vivid descriptions from my own personal experience a few years back, so you've been warned about that.**

**And, I drew a quick sketch of how I thought Patty would look in this chapter. If you're interested, it's here: ****unleashedtimelady./art/Patty-Bergen-101780496**

**Chapter Fourteen. **

"Not a single Reiker!" I growled.

"Well, it wasn't likely," Sharon pointed out. "Besides, the house is in Aunt Beth's name."

I cursed in Yiddish and poor Louisa looked more confused than ever.

"Come on," Sharon said gently. "Why don't we just do the whole tourist scene and have a look around? That way we can ask a few people if they know of a Reiker."

"I don't feel like being a tourist," I grumbled, but Louisa had already perked up.

"I can give you brochures! There's plenty to see and do," she said earnestly, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings so I pretended to be interested.

"You can get a bus to Centennial Park, which ain't too far. There's plenty to look at there. There's the Parthenon there, some old Greek sorta buildin'. Most folk from out of town find it interesting."

"Sounds great," Sharon enthused, and I agreed half-heartedly. All I wanted to do was find Anton, but Sharon had now become set upon doing the 'tourist scene'. "C'mon Patty, we'll get changed and then head off."

Louisa smiled widely, happy at having found entertainment for us, and we headed back up to our room. Sharon began to rummage around for something pretty to wear and I yawned, before peering into the wardrobe. It certainly was warm out, so I selected my favourite summer dress that I'd taken with me at the last minute. It was pale blue with white polka dots, a white patent leather belt to draw in my waist, a slightly flared skirt and it had buttons at the front that went down to my middle. I slipped my feet into my white patent leather sandals and thought I looked pretty good.

Sharon looked great, too. Better than me. But then again, I was used to that. Her dress was a pastel yellow, with white capped sleeves, white belt and a wide collar. She had dainty white shoes, and the yellow of the dress made her hair glow an angelic gold. She pinned her hair back with a mother of pearl clasp that glimmered when the light caught it, and I felt a momentary stab of envy. Her hair was always perfect. I wanted mine to look that good.

"Ready?" Sharon asked, whirling around and smiling prettily.

"No," I snapped, and immediately regretted it. "Sorry, I just… I want to do my hair, if that's okay."

"Sure," she said slowly, looking at me searchingly. I turned away, feeling foolish.

I ran a comb through my hair, softening the waves, before finding some hairpins. I parted a segment of hair from each side, twisting it and pulling it back, before slipping in hairpins to hold it in place. It wasn't as fancy as Sharon's, but it was still an improvement.

"Right, let's go," I said firmly, deciding not to let the envy take hold again.

We skipped down to the lobby, trying to be as dainty as was possible, and I noticed Sharon shoving some money down the front of her dress. I wondered how much money exactly she'd stolen from our father, and how long it would last. We waved to Louisa and were about to leave, when she called us back.

"Hold on a moment," she hollered. We raced over to the counter and she grinned conspiratorially at us. "You two ladies look great, but I think you might need this if you're lookin' for a man. It's helped me out before."

From beneath the counter she produced a tiny bottle of perfume.

"Oh, Louisa," Sharon breathed. "It's so pretty."

"Wait until you smell it. It's perfect for summer. All sweet flowers and fruity smells. I love it."

She gave two squirts, one in my direction and one in Sharon's.

"Now you two are perfect," she said warmly. "Go on, go enjoy your day."

We grinned at her before heading outside. Louisa was right; it did smell good. It was slightly exotic, and I instructed myself to ask the name of it when we got back to the motel.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

The bus ride was utterly boring. It was packed full, hot and smelly, and very loud. Sharon and I staggered off it in great relief, breathing in the sweet summer air. I looked around and had no idea where we were. I couldn't see a park anywhere.

"Sharon, can you see the park?" I asked and she shook her head.

"Nope. Excuse me, sir?" she said to a man hurrying past. "Can you please tell us where we are?"

"24th Avenue," he hollered over his shoulder without stopping. "South, not north."

"That make any sense to you?" I asked Sharon.

"None whatsoever. Look, I'm going up that way, and you go down that way. We'll meet back here in fifteen, hopefully with proper directions."

Before I could argue, Sharon was gone. I gazed around me, shrugged, and began walking down 24th Avenue South, Nashville, Tennessee, completely alone and lost. I did seem to end up in the strangest situations. Hum.

I whistled to myself as I walked, feeling quite self-conscious, and ended up drifting off into a daydream. Daydreaming was one bad habit that had always gotten me into trouble, and I never seemed to learn from it. One would think that I'd stop doing it, but I couldn't seem to help it. And now it got me into trouble once again.

"Shoot," I muttered, as I realised I had just been walking without thinking where I was going. I wasn't even on a street anymore. I was standing in front of a massive building, and I had no idea where I was. I had no idea how long I'd been walking, or how to get back to Sharon.

"I cannot believe this," I whispered to myself, tears pricking at my eyes and I blinked hurriedly. I didn't want to cry in public, because I had done that enough, and I would only look like a child. I was an adult, and I ought to think like one.

I glanced around me and saw a large sign that informed me I was at the campus of Vanderbilt University. "Oh, that sounds expensive," I said quietly to myself. I stared around self-consciously, expecting to see rich students glaring at me, but nobody seemed to be about. Everyone was busy inside, no doubt. Studying, researching, teaching, learning. Everyone in the world had a place, knew what they were doing and where they were. I, Patty Bergen, had gone and messed up. Again.

"I'm such a fool!" I shrieked, kicking angrily at the ground. "I hate everything!"

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a figure step out of the building and stare at me, but I didn't care. I was lost, and I was scared, and I was fed up with everything. I was sick of being so useless. I had never done anything right, and I didn't even have a home to go to. I wanted to just give up. To fall asleep and not have to wake up again. Everything was just too hard, I couldn't think, I couldn't breathe.

I screamed, and kicked the ground again, and suddenly a pair of strong hands gripped me. I shrieked in terror and lashed out, trying to get away from the person wanting to hurt me. My hands were sweaty, I was shaking violently, and I realised tears were running down my cheeks. My chest was burning as I struggled to breathe, but couldn't. I was so cold, and so hot, and I felt so ill. I couldn't see properly, or think.

"It's alright," the person holding me said soothingly. A man. "I think you are having some sort of panic attack. My sister Hannah used to have them. Just try to slow your breathing."

Suddenly I was sitting down on a bench, but didn't know how I had got there. My heart was thudding madly, my throat was dry, and nothing made sense. The world was spinning. Next thing I knew I was losing my lunch all over the ground. When I finished retching I didn't move, just continued to lean over and gasp. After a while I noticed that the man was holding my hair out of the way, and rubbing my back. I jumped to my feet, staggered backwards, and nearly passed out. He caught me.

"Go away," I mumbled, wanting to cry. I was breathing again, but my heart was still racing and I was in a cold sweat. I was trembling badly. "I don't want to be here. Just let me go."

"Hush," he said. "Tell me what set it off."

"What's off?"

"What caused your attack? Have you had one before?"

I shook my head, and nearly passed out again. "I…"

"What happened before it? My sister used to get them when she had exams."

"I… I'm lost," I mumbled, closing my eyes against the bright sun. My head was beginning to throb. "I don't know where I am."

"You're at Vanderbilt University. Where are you from?"

"I don't know. I just don't know anything." I felt the tears coming on again, but the man wiped them away.

"Can you walk? You should not be in this sun. It is too formidable."

My eyes snapped open and my heart stopped. I'd heard that word many times in my life, but only once had I heard it spoken in that voice, that accent. I raised my eyes to his face, and was met with incredible grey-blue eyes, dark hair, and the most handsome face that still haunted my dreams.

"Holy shit," I whispered, and those achingly familiar eyes widened.

"I beg your pardon?" he said uncertainly, and the man's German accent was clear.

"Oh," I whispered. "This is… it's a dream. Isn't it?"

He looked confused. "I'm sorry?"

He didn't recognise me. He just didn't recognise me.

"Anton," I whispered, and those beautiful eyes grew even wider.

……………………………………………………………………………………………..

**A/N: Please don't hate me for the cliff-hanger. I've already written the next chapter, and will post as soon as I get three reviews for this chapter. So hurry up!! **


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N: Bada-boom! I asked for three reviews, I got three, so here is the next chapter. Enjoy. **

**Oh, and Frogster? Don't review this one until you've reviewed the last chapter. I need as many reviews as I can get!! Hehe :)**

**Chapter Fifteen. **

"Anton," I whispered, and he stared down at me in confusion.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" he asked cautiously and my heart broke. I sat up, slowly, and my head only spun a little. I waited a moment, and then got to my feet. Anton stood beside me, and my chest hurt so badly. He didn't know me.

"Look at me," I whispered brokenly. "Please, Anton. Look at me. Tell me who you see."

He looked at me, eyes narrowed, and his gaze raked up and down my body, slow and lingering, and I shivered as his eyes darkened.

"I… I see a lovely young woman," he said slowly, "who has a figure to die for, eyes filled with hurt and sadness, lips that beckon and tempt, and a face that cries out for something. I can see that you are hurt and broken, and I feel this desperate need to help you. I want to help you."

"Then help me," I whispered tearfully. "Remember."

I saw realisation cross his face and he went slightly pale. My Anton remembered.

"Patty," he whispered. "P.B.?"

I nodded, wiping my eyes. "You remember."

"I never forgot," he said, lower lip trembling. "I did not recognise you. You've changed so much."

"I know," I said, my voice shaking. "Look at me, I'm a mess."

"You're beautiful," he said softly, taking a step towards me and lifting my chin gently. "You are broken, yet beautiful. What has happened?"

"You have no idea, Anton," I sobbed. "Everything has gone wrong lately. I came here to find you."

"P.B.," he said tenderly. "Let me hold you."

He gave me no chance to argue, even if I had wanted to, and swept me into his arms. I couldn't hold back the tears and they cascaded down my cheeks as I shook and sobbed, and he held me. Every emotion I had ever held back was now spilling forth and I felt my chest aching with grief and happiness and a million other nameless feelings. Still he held me. I was gripping him as though he was a lifeline, and I was terrified he would disappear. My tears were soaking through his shirt. Still he held me. My Anton held me as I cried, and I soon realised he was making it go away. The pain was easing. My Anton was helping me, and I knew he wouldn't leave me. I somehow knew everything would be okay now.

"Anton," I whimpered, pulling back. "I lo-"

"No," he said sharply, putting a finger to my lips. "Hush, P.B. This is important. You need to lie down. You have been through a lot, and must rest. Where are you staying?"

"To hell with where I'm staying," I said shrilly. "We're together again!"

"Yes," he laughed. "We are."

"But I…" I suddenly noticed his eyes were wet and he sniffed. "You're crying?"

"I am," he said.

"You never were as noisy as I was," I said with a small smile.

"Some things never change," Anton said quietly, lifting my hand to his lips. His eyes burned into mine. My heart ached for him.

"I'm here with my sister," I said suddenly. "We split up to try and find Centennial Park, but I got lost."

Anton laughed. "It's not far," he said. "It's on the other side of West End Avenue. I have finished here for the day, so we can take my car."

"Sounds good," I said honestly, and shivered as Anton placed his arm around my waist, guiding me to the car park. I felt so happy and complete now that I was with him once again. I had found my Anton at last.

…………………………………………………………………………………………

"There she is," I said, pointing to the side of the road. We were driving along 24th Avenue looking for Sharon, and I saw her standing there, talking frantically to someone who was shaking their head. "I think she's asking if they've seen me."

With a squeal of protest from the tyres and a shriek of terror from me, Anton spun the car around and braked in front of Sharon. He opened the door and called out to her, and I managed to wave. She spotted me, raced over and dived into the backseat.

"That was cool," she said breathlessly as Anton sped away with a screeching of tyres and a cloud of smoke.

"It was insane," I snapped. "Anton, you are mad."

"Anton?!" Sharon squeaked, leaning forwards. "You're Anton?! Wow, Patty told me you were great but I didn't realise just how good! You can drive like a professional!"

Anton laughed. "You are very kind, Sharon, was it? But no, I would not call myself a professional. As Patty just said, mad is the word I would use."

"But it's good to be a little mad," Sharon said matter-of-factly, sitting back in the seat.

"Ha," I said. "We could've been killed."

"Patty," Sharon groaned. "We travelled miles to find this man, and you're snapping at him? You amaze me, Sis."

We all laughed, and I gazed adoringly at Anton. He was grinning, and his eyes were sparkling. He looked wonderful. He glanced at me and saw I was watching him, and patted my hand before turning back to face the road.

I had given him the name of our motel and he was driving us back there now. I was too scared to ask what would happen after that. Too soon we were pulling up outside the motel. Anton got out with us.

"You're coming in," Sharon said firmly, obviously sensing our uncertainty.

Anton smiled and fell into step beside me as we headed towards the motel. Just before we went in I shivered, noticing that the air had cooled, and I glanced up at the sky. Clouds were gathering and it had darkened.

"Looks like rain," I said, gesturing at the sky.

"A summer shower or a storm?" Anton queried.

"Fifty cents says it's a storm," Sharon said excitedly and Anton laughed.

"I would bet otherwise, but having lived here for a fair few months now, I would have to agree with you."

Laughing, we headed into the motel, and Louisa glanced up at us. She beamed when she saw Anton hovering beside me.

"So you found your feller, then?" she asked cheekily, winking suggestively at us.

I giggled and blushed.

"You know what?" Sharon piped suddenly. "I feel like a gooseberry here. Louisa, do you play cards?"

"I sure do, but I'm working at the moment."

"Gee, business is thriving," Sharon said, glancing around the lobby that was empty apart from us. "Is anyone else supposed to be checking in today?"

"Well, no, but I have to stay at the desk."

"So let's play cards at the desk. You can shuffle."

Louisa was about to argue, but then realised what Sharon was hinting at and her mouth opened.

"Sure thing," she said hurriedly. "I can play cards for hours, y'know. Long enough for people to talk about anything they wanted."

I shook my head in amusement. They were useless at being subtle. Anton obviously thought so, too.

"I think they want us to talk," he said to me with a smile.

"I'll lead the way," I said with a laugh.

When we reached the room and closed the door an awkward silence fell. I couldn't seem to look at Anton, and he couldn't seem to look away.

"Patty," he said softly, and stepped towards me. Still I wouldn't look at him and he cupped my chin in his hands. I shivered as he brushed his thumbs up my cheeks and stroked my hair. "You look so different. So much older, and so much more… yourself."

"My parents can't control me anymore," I said quietly, averting my eyes. "I can be me now."

"But do you know who you are?"

"I…" I paused. Did I know who I was? Really? "No. No, I don't."

"No more tears, _Liebling_," he said gently as my eyes began to water. "_I _know who you are, and if I am still your teacher, then allow me to show you."

"As long as you have something to teach me," I said shakily, "then I am willing to learn."

I thought my heart was going to stop as Anton leaned towards me. His lips whispered unknown words across my cheeks, and he pressed the ghost of a kiss on the tip of my nose. His arms snaked around my waist, drawing me closer towards him, and I instinctively wrapped my arms around his neck. His eyes were so clear and piercing, and I was sure he could see right into my heart. He somehow knew just what was there, who I was, and how to read me. This was how it was meant to be.

"Anton," I whispered, pressing my lips against his neck. I felt him shiver slightly. "Show me who I really am."

"I cannot show you now, P.B.," he said, voice somewhat husky. "We must talk first. I want to know everything you have been through."

"Oh boy," I laughed shakily. "Where to begin?"

Anton smiled and guided me over to my bed, and we perched side by side on the edge. "Begin when we first parted."

"Do you think Sharon and Louisa can play cards long enough for me to describe the past ten years?"

"Twenty, if you include my own tales."

I laughed. "Good luck to them. Are you comfortable? This is gonna take a while."

"As comfortable as I have been for the past ten years," Anton said, contentedly nuzzling my shoulder.

"Get off," I giggled, blushing like a school girl.

"I'm sorry," Anton said, clearly not. "You were saying?"

"I'll start with the day you took me back home…"

………………………………………………………………………………………………

**A/N: Pretty please review? Please? Let me know what your thoughts are, and anything I can improve in coming chapters. Thanks. **


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: Several things have come to my attention. One: several people commented that Anton was acting rather flirtatious last chapter. Yes, that was correct. I was just trying to show how he was seeing Patty as the attractive woman she is, but she still can't see that. She's not a child anymore, but she's always been attractive, yet she never knew it. Don't worry, it was only flirtation in the last chapter to convey that, but there won't really be any more. **

**Two: Flip, I realised that when Anton said he wanted to show Patty who she really is, some of you may have thought he wanted to, erm, take her to bed. That is NOT what I meant! I was actually being naïve when I wrote that, and did not mean it like that. It was a genuinely innocent, loving comment he made.**

**And last of all, yes, there is some German in this chapter. You don't need to run around trying to translate it, because Anton will translate it for Patty in the next two chapters so don't worry, you'll find out what it means soon enough. Right, I think that's about all. Shall we carry on? Yes. **

**Chapter Sixteen.**

"So," began with a shaking breath. "You left me in the town next to Jenkinsville, and I walked back home. People recognised me and they stared, but no one said anything. When I got home Ruth nearly had a heart attack, it was so unexpected. I was just so tired that I went straight to bed and when I woke up, my parents were there."

"How did they treat you?" Anton asked quietly.

"They were really distant. I mean, at first they were really supportive, but when the questioning stopped they didn't really want anything to do with me."

"How much were you questioned?" Anton asked, looking slightly worried.

"Oh, heaps," I said honestly. "I think every cop and special officer in America was talking to me at one point or another. I didn't tell them anything."

"I knew you wouldn't," he said with a warm smile. "What happened after that?"

"I never went back to school. My grandparents in Memphis paid for a private tutor for me. That's how I finished my education; through them. They never stopped loving me, no matter what. They passed away two years ago, within six months of each other."

"I'm sorry."

"I spent my summer holidays studying, reading and helping Ruth with household chores. I wasn't ever allowed back at the store again. When I turned sixteen my grandparents started sending me money once a month. Not much, but I didn't tell my parents and I saved it up. When my grandparents passed away I realised I had saved enough money to escape. I decided to go to Memphis."

"How did it work out?"

"It was okay, at first. I had my own apartment, a job as a reporter and I even had a boyfriend."

"Had?"

"He ended it with me. I don't know the real reason why, and I don't care. He wasn't you. I lost my job, too, and then my purse. That's why I went back to Jenkinsville. And I knew I had to find you."

"And find me you did," Anton laughed.

"But what about you?" I asked, sitting up straight. "Whatever happened to you?"

Anton sighed. "I stayed on the run for quite some time. I honestly do not know how I managed it. Eventually I was found by a young couple whilst hiding in their shed, and they immediately knew who I was. I thought it was all over, but it turns out that the woman was from an old German family who were closely connected to my own. Our grandparents were good friends. They helped me to hide and I changed my identity."

"Didn't people recognise you?"

"I grew a beard, which was awfully itchy, and kept my hair shaved off."

"Yuck," I said, pulling a face and Anton laughed.

"Exactly. So, after hiding with them for a year, and learning to imitate an American accent, I gradually came out of hiding with my new identity, as Jackson Peters."

"You learned an American accent?" I asked, surprised.

"Sure did," Anton said in a perfect Tennessean drawl and I laughed.

"And then what? You got a job?"

"I worked as a labourer on a nearby property for the remainder of the war. After it finally ended I waited another six months, before heading home to Germany under my American identity."

"Jackson Peters," I said, testing the name on my tongue. "Is that what you still go by now?"

"No," he said. "When I got back to Germany and saw the absolute devastation left by the war I realised that I didn't want to pretend anymore. I was a German soldier, and I should pay for what I had done."

"So what did you do?"

"Went to the police. I didn't know what else to do. I told them I was an escaped Prisoner of War from America and they told me to leave. They had more important things to deal with, apparently."

"They just let you go?" I asked in shock and Anton nodded. "Ordinary soldiers just went back to being ordinary citizens. Those who were accused of war crimes were tried and jailed, or executed, depending on the extent of their crimes. Prisoners of War had the choice of returning home or settling in their country. I had escaped, and as far as the German authorities were concerned I should just put that part of my life behind me and move on."

"But wouldn't the Americans have arrested you when you returned?"

"Patience. I will get to that. I found my family and they were suffering quite badly. In Germany we had not much of anything. The whole country was being rebuilt from the ground up. I helped them as much as I could, and got a job at a nearby factory. The working conditions were awful, but it was the only choice at the time. Eventually I got offered a promotion in another branch of this particular company, but it meant I had to move several miles from my family. It meant more money, so I took it."

"Did you miss them?"

"Of course. But I wrote weekly, and their letters in return helped me immensely. I began dining at a restaurant every Friday and one day I met an American woman there."

"Aunt Beth," I interjected and he looked surprised.

"She is your aunt?"

"No," I said with a laugh. "Long story. I'll tell you about that another time."

"I look forward to hearing about it. So, Beth told you of our meeting?"

"Yes. I know that part. What happened when you came back here?"

"I applied for an American visa under the name of Frederick Anton Reiker. I knew that there was a strong chance I would get arrested, but somehow my application was approved. I didn't understand until several months ago when I found out my name had been cleared. A friend of yours assisted me without my knowledge."

"Really?" I asked in genuine surprise. "Who? How? I didn't know about this."

"A reporter named Charlene Madlee," Anton laughed. "She researched everything very thoroughly and comprised a report filled with interviews and indisputable evidence that I had committed no crime. She gave this report straight to the FBI and proved my innocence. There was nothing reported about it in the papers, so it is no wonder you didn't hear. I assume the government wanted to keep their mistake quiet."

"I can't believe it!" I hollered happily. "Oh, that's wonderful!"

"It is," Anton agreed enthusiastically. "And, it got better. By that point Germany was getting back on track, and you may remember me telling you my family is very old?"

I nodded.

"Well, monthly instalments of money began coming to me once again. I used to get it before the war, and it started again. I was living quite well from my father's allowance, and I enrolled at Vanderbilt University where I was accepted as a medical student. I am training to be an orthopaedic surgeon."

"What's that?" I asked, baffled.

"Surgery involving the musculoskeletal system," Anton explained. "It takes quite a few years to complete the required education as it is a very complex field."

"You don't say."

At that point there was a deep rumble of thunder and we both glanced at the opened window. Clouds had gathered and darkened, causing the sky to glare angrily down at the world. The breeze flowing in was still warm and humid, but a few light drops of rain were beginning to fall as the wind picked up.

"The window had best be closed," Anton pointed out and I immediately obliged, yanking it shut.

"What happens next?" I asked softly, turning to face Anton. He stood up also.

"Regarding what, _Liebling_?" he asked softly and for some reason I began to shake.

"I _hate_ the German language!" I shrieked, tears pricking at my eyes. "It's disgusting, the words are horrid and it always sounds so… _angry_, and violent. I hate it!"

Anton looked momentarily shocked at my outburst, and I was, too. I couldn't quite believe I had said that… What was wrong with me?

"Do you honestly believe that, Patty?" Anton asked reasonably. "Or are you just upset? I can see that you have been through quite a lot and your emotions are all over the place."

"I'm Jewish," I mumbled, hanging my head. "German words are disgusting."

"It never bothered you before," Anton pointed out gently. "At one stage I recall you asking me to teach you the language."

"Well, I hate it now," I said childishly, wondering why I was saying any of this.

"_Küss mich_," Anton said softly. "Does that sound so bad?"

"What's it mean?" I asked warily.

"What it means doesn't matter," Anton said. "Does it sound angry? Violent?"

"Not really," I admitted.

"And what about _ich leibe dich_?"

"I don't know," I muttered, feeling awkward.

"Alright, and how does this sound? _Mich heiraten_?"

"It sounds nice," I admitted with a sigh. "I'm sorry, I don't know what came over me. I guess I'm just scared I won't get to see you again."

"Eh?" Anton frowned, genuine confusion on his face. "I'm not going anywhere."

"But after the storm passes," I explained, staring at him imploringly. "Won't you just go back home, and then carry on doing your degree at the University?"

"Well, yes," Anton admitted. "But I… assumed… Patty, what are you doing after the storm passes?"

"Spending the night here, I guess," I said with a sigh. "But after that? Who knows."

"So why not stay with me?" Anton suggested and I wanted to dance with joy. "Your sister can too, if she wishes."

"Sharon has to go home," I said. "She's only fifteen. And I'm not letting her go all the way back to Jenkinsville on her own."

As soon as I said it I realised it was true. I wasn't allowing Sharon to travel all the way back home alone. I would have to go with her.

"Good!" Anton shouted and I jumped. "A family reunion, shall we say? It was quite a coincidence that you arrived at Vanderbilt at that particular moment. I was just stopping by to hand in a report. I have a fortnight off to study before exams. We can leave tomorrow."

"Anton, my parents will… I don't even know!" I squeaked.

"Ruth will cook us something delightful, and your parents will deal with it," Anton said calmly. "I look forward to heading back and reminiscing."

I giggled at the nostalgic expression that already covered his handsome face and my heart swelled with love.

"Shall we go and tell Sharon?" I asked, heading to the door and Anton nodded. "Oh hold on, what was that stuff you said in German?"

"When?"

"A moment ago. What did it mean?"

"Oh, all in good time," Anton said, smiling wryly and we left the room.


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: I haven't had a chance to proof-read this chapter, so let me know if there are any major mistakes. Please review and let me know how you think its going. The more reviews, the faster I write. **

**Chapter Seventeen.**

Anton and I strolled into the lobby to find Sharon and Louisa peering out a window. Before we could ask what they were doing a flash of light lit up the lobby momentarily. Sharon whooped with delight and Louisa groaned, before handing over fifty cents reluctantly.

"Dare I ask?" I said, causing them to turn around and grin.

"We were betting on whether the first flash of lightning would be forked or sheet," Sharon informed me. "I won. It was sheet."

"Darn Nashville weather," Louisa muttered. "Always lets me down, even though I've lived here all my life."

"Sharon, we're going home tomorrow," I informed my sister. "Anton is coming with us."

"Are you moving in?" Sharon asked excitedly but Anton shook his head.

"Afraid not," he said. "We are taking you home, and then we will decide what to do. I have to at least finish my exams for this year, and then what? Who knows?"

"You have to finish your degree," I commented quietly and Anton took my hand in his own.

"P.B., it will take me several years to finish," he said. "We can discuss this once we have returned to Jenkinsville."

I jumped as thunder rolled through the sky, booming angrily and the rain began to pelt down. Louisa muttered something under her breath and I only caught "Nashville… roof better hold…" and decided to pretend I hadn't heard, because I would only worry. Anton squeezed my hand and I beamed at him.

It rained for three hours straight, not once letting up. The thunder yelled and hollered its disapproval at the world and the lightning lit up the darkening sky at regular intervals, sometimes a sheet of light in the distance, sometimes streaking a crackling path above us. Anton held my hand as the four of us chatted contentedly, speaking louder than usual to be heard above the weather. What startled us more than the sudden blasts of thunder was the sudden stop of rain. It didn't just peter out; it stopped at once, without warning, and the world was eerily still and silent. I now fully understood exactly how silence could be deafening.

"I don't like that," Sharon said. "The rain stopping suddenly. It's strange."

"It's Nashville," Louisa said, glaring at the ceiling.

"Stop complaining," Sharon giggled and Louisa smiled. "It's not that bad, surely?"

"No," Louisa conceded. "It's alright, really. Are you staying the night?"

Anton glanced up. "Me? No, I haven't booked a room."

Louisa laughed. "Not sure if you noticed, but we ain't the most popular motel around. We're only small and basic, and most folk want luxury. There's plenty of room."

"It doesn't matter about short notice?" Anton asked dubiously.

"My pa's the owner and manager," Louisa said. "He'll be happy for you to stay. Tell you what; I won't charge you for the room if you promise to invite me to the wedding."

"Wedding?" Anton was confused and I blushed.

"You and Patty," Louisa said knowingly.

"Oh, I see," Anton stammered, momentarily flustered before regaining composure. "Well, we shall have to see how things go, but if ever there is a wedding I assure you that you will be on the guest list."

Sharon and Louisa grinned at each other conspiratorially and I had a suspicion that they had planned everything, even the storm. Somehow. It wouldn't surprise me.

It was a long night, listening to Sharon's soft breathing and thinking about Anton in the next room. What had he thought when Louisa had mentioned a wedding? Would he even still be here the next morning? Maybe it had scared him and he would run. Somehow I doubted that. As soon as the sun broke through the clouds and the first tentative rays of light peered in through the window I was up, washing and dressing, with Sharon grumbling as she pulled the covers over her head. I raced down to the dining area where we had eaten the night before and saw Anton sitting at a table, fully dressed, reading the morning paper.

"Morning," I said breathlessly and he glanced up. He surveyed me for a moment before smiling widely and folding up the newspaper.

"P.B.," he said warmly, motioning for me to join him. I obliged. "Sharon still asleep?"

I nodded. "She's not really a morning person."

Anton laughed. "Understandable. Shall we wait for her to join us or have breakfast now?"

"Her loss if she sleeps through it," I said and Anton chuckled again.

We had hot cups of sweet tea and plates piled high with buttered toast for breakfast, with fresh fruit afterwards. It wasn't as good as griddlecakes, but it was still good. Eventually Sharon joined us, her hair still tousled from sleep, and she nibbled half-heartedly on a piece of cold toast.

"You okay?" I asked in concern, noticing that she was quite pale. She nodded.

"I just don't really want to go back," she said with a nervous laugh. "It's not like I hate being at home or anything, it's just… Well, I've had so much fun trying to find Anton, and now you've found him, it's like we're going back to reality."

"But this is reality," Anton pointed out gently. "And this is only one portion of the adventures you will have in your lifetime."

"I hardly think anything could be as exciting as what you two have been through," Sharon said huffily.

"But that is just it," Anton said, his eyes glittering with enthusiasm. "You do not know! I first met P.B. when simply buying a hat! You will meet a boy soon enough and you will have your own adventures. It is an adventure on its own, simply getting to know a person. Do not dismiss a simple meeting as something which is not exciting. It may be the beginning of something life changing."

Sharon pondered this for a moment. "You make sense," she said eventually. "I can see why Patty likes you so much. Where's Louisa? I'll see if she'll pay me to do the washing up. We've not got enough of Father's money left to get home."

Sharon trotted off to find Louisa, leaving Anton and I to stare at each other. "Did she just say that we can't afford to get home?" I asked, hoping I had misheard.

"She did indeed," Anton nodded. "And quite calmly, also."

"Doesn't she realise how important it is?" I snapped. "She's so silly sometimes. She just doesn't think. She rushes into everything without considering the consequences."

Anton laughed. "Remind you of anybody? She is you all over again. And you really haven't changed all that much."

"I suppose," I sighed, a smile tugging at my lips. "I hope we can get enough money to get home."

"I can assist in paying," Anton said. "I have my car outside; I will drive home, pack some things, and get money out of the bank on the way back."

"Are you sure?" I asked, not just meaning about the money.

"Positive," he said, standing up. "If I leave now then we will have plenty of time to catch a train before midday."

He pressed a feather light kiss to my cheek and was gone. I shivered. I was going home again, but this time I had Anton with me.

………………………………………………………………………………………….

Sharon got a few dollars from Louisa for doing the washing up and Anton returned with a packed suitcase and full wallet. The worst part was saying goodbye to Louisa. Yet another person who had helped us along the way, showing us nothing but kindness. Sharon was sobbing as she hugged Louisa; I could see that they had become good friends in the short time we had been here. I hoped we would see her again. Eventually it was time to leave. Anton left his car keys in the lobby, instructing Louisa that he would be back for his car by the end of the week. Louisa was happy to leave it in the car park; it might convince people that there was some sign of life in the motel.

Anton organised our tickets for us. We considered stopping in on Aunt Beth on our way through Memphis but decided that it could wait. We just wanted to get the confrontation over and done with. Sharon was quiet on the first branch of the journey, but by the time we changed trains at Memphis she was chattering away happily as though Anton was her long lost best friend. I smiled; I was really glad they got along so well.

It was well into the afternoon when we finally arrived back in Jenkinsville. It was strange being back; I couldn't quite put my finger on what I felt, but it was certainly strange. Trepidation, perhaps. As we reached our street, lugging our suitcases, we fell into a nervous silence. My stomach was churning and I could feel the anxiety crackling through the air like last night's storm. There it was; the house I had grown up in. My parents would be home today. The store was only open four days a week now.

We snuck around the back of the house and left our suitcases on the grass. Sharon volunteered to go in first. Anton and I followed her into the kitchen, and I thought my heart would leap out of my chest. Ruth was wiping down the table and beamed at Anton, but didn't say a word, for which we were grateful. She inclined her head towards the living room, and Sharon took a deep breath before strolling in.

"Where the hell have you been?" I heard my father shout angrily as something fell to the ground.

"Nashville," I heard Sharon retort calmly, almost challengingly. "With Patty."

"I darn well gathered that," he spat. "I thought she'd gained some maturity, but obviously not. She's leading you astray now."

"It was my idea!" I heard Sharon shout. "I'm surprised you didn't have the police out looking for me."

"I considered it," I heard him say icily, "but then I changed my mind. I thought it best to let you learn your own mistakes, girl. And mistakes you have made, young lady. You are not leavin' this house, except for when school goes back, until you are eighteen."

"You can't do that!" Sharon shrieked. "It's not fair!"

"It's not fair of you to go disobeyin' our trust," he snapped, and then I heard a rustle as someone stood from the settee.

"You shouldn't have run off like that," I heard my mother's voice say. I glanced at Anton and saw determination in his eyes and, before I could stop him, he strode into the living room.


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Relax; all the German I have used so far will be translated next chapter. I also want to say thanks to Yva J. and her hubby for helping with the German used in this chapter; very much appreciated. **

**Chapter Eighteen. **

"Anton!" I yelped, racing after him into the living room.

My parents stared at Anton in shock.

"You," my father whispered, his face pale. My mother's lower lip trembled slightly. "You took my daughters away?"

"No, Mr Bergen, sir," Anton said politely, bowing his head ever so slightly. "They came to find me. I had no idea."

"You suckin'-up fool," my father snarled, clenching his fists. "You took my daughter away during the war, and now you've come after the other one too?"

"Clearly your memory fails you," Anton replied coolly. "You ought to remember that it was Patty who came after me during the war, and it was I who brought her back to you in the end. It was Patty and Sharon who came to find me this time also, and it was also I who brought them back to you now. And I hardly think I am 'sucking-up' as you so blandly put it, sir."

A nerve was twitching in my father's clenched jaw and I watched it in fascination. The human body sure was something.

"I want you out of my house," my father said, voice dangerously soft. "Right now."

"I'm afraid I can't leave just yet," Anton said cheerfully. "I need to talk with you. Well, ask you something, rather."

"What could you possibly have to ask?" my mother interjected, the fake politeness laced with malice.

"Girls," Ruth's voice cracked through the air like a whip. "Come on outside, now. Mr Reiker is gonna talk with your mama and daddy."

I hadn't even realised Ruth had been standing there, and opened my mouth to argue but the look on Anton's face made me follow Ruth and Sharon meekly outside. Once outdoors I kicked angrily at a clump of dry grass, cursing the summer sun that was beating down upon us. What were they saying? What did Anton want to ask? I had to know. It was maddening.

"Ruth, what's going on?" I whined and the woman gave me a sympathetic smile.

"I wish I could tell you, honey," she said and I knew she meant it. I wandered over for a cuddle, and watched Sharon's look of intense frustration which surely must be a mirror of my own.

After several more minutes I cursed and raced for the door. I heard Ruth calling out after me but ignored her and flew inside. Once indoors I crept to the doorway and listened, hiding against the wall.

"I don't know how you can honestly have the nerve to even ask that," my father said in outrage and I could imagine his face was turning beet red.

"I am trying to do the right thing," Anton said, reasonable as ever. This evidently infuriated my father.

"Right thing?! You don't know the damn right from the damn wrong! You're a filthy, selfish criminal who deserves to be strung up and shot."

I felt my stomach flip over and my heart nearly stopped. That was one of the most horrendous things I had ever heard, and said with such pure hatred. Silence other than heavy breathing suggested that Anton had been stunned into silence by the ferocity with which my father spoke.

"I am sorry you feel that way," Anton said quietly at last. "Unfortunately you are not the only ones in this world who still feel so strongly. I wonder if that will ever change."

"Not if you lot keep starting wars," my mother said indignantly.

"Ah, an argument I have heard many a time," Anton said, almost wistfully. "But really, how did the war start? And every other war in history?"

Silence.

"You do not know? Fascinating. Did Germans start every war? Has America not once started a war? No one is right when at war. No one is good when at war. We all do things that may seem right and good at the time, but truly? No. We are all monsters when at war."

"I still can't believe you had the nerve to ask that, though," my mother said, changing the subject entirely. "It is completely out of the question."

"And why would that be?" Anton asked, infuriatingly calm.

"You're a damn Nazi!" my father hissed. "Do you honestly think I'd let my daughter marry a Nazi?!"

I gaped. Anton had asked my father's permission to marry me?!

"Well, actually," Anton said, "I am not a Nazi. I am an ex German soldier. Simple as that."

"You're filth, is what you are."

"Thank you kindly for you opinion, sir."

The next sound made me sick. The sound of a fist connecting with a jaw. Anton's gasp of pain and surprise. I clenched my teeth, waiting for my father's angry yell when Anton hit him back. I waited. I bit my lip. I waited. Hold on… Silence? The curiosity was too much and I poked my head around the corner, peering into the living room.

Anton stood there, his jaw red where my father had hit him, arms by his sides and chest heaving. My father was slowly backing away, horror on his features, and my mother had her hands clasped over her mouth in shock.

"Harry," she whispered at last as my father collapsed back onto the settee. "You…"

"You're not marrying her," my father rasped weakly, not looking at Anton. "You're not…"

"_Das werden wir noch sehen_," Anton sighed sadly after a pause. His shoulders slumped in resignation and he turned to the doorway, freezing as he saw me. I ducked out of the room, tears filling my eyes, and raced outdoors as a sob tore from my body.

"Honey?" Ruth asked, racing over to me as I collapsed onto the ground, crying desperately and screaming in anguish. My whole body shook as I sobbed and choked on my own tears. I felt Ruth trying to get me up but pushed her away, and shrugged off Sharon's gentle touch. Between my sobs I heard Anton's voice speaking quietly to Sharon and Ruth, who then walked away. When I heard the back door close and Anton knelt down beside me I allowed my sobs to diminish and finally stop altogether.

"I-I'm sorry," I whimpered, sniffling as I sat up. Anton didn't look at me or touch me. "Anton?"

With a deep sigh he turned his face to me, gently brushing away the last of my tears with his thumb. "P.B.," he whispered tenderly. "I am the one who is sorry."

"It's not going to work, is it?" I said, knowing that he had given up. "We can't be together."

He didn't say anything.

"Anton?" I said tearfully. "I just want you to know that I don't think any less of you for giving in to my father like that. I can't speak German but I could tell you said something like 'maybe you're right'. Something along those lines, anyway. Thank you for trying, though. I just hope you won't forget me."

I began to cry again, genuine grief filling my heart. My father had finally won.

"I'm sorry," Anton said quietly, getting to his feet and brushing away loose blades of grass. I clambered to my feet also, still crying, and pressed a wet kiss to Anton's cheek before racing back inside. Anton followed me but I barely noticed. I staggered into the living room, glancing around through my tear-filled eyes. Sharon and Ruth stood sombrely in a corner, my father sat on the settee with his head in his hands and my mother sat with her hand on his shoulder.

"I hate you," I said, my voice wobbling with tears, and my father looked up wearily. "You've ruined my life. You did it when I was twelve, and you're doing it again, a whole ten years later. Why can't you just let me be?"

The agony in my voice was apparent to everyone in the room and my father closed his eyes as though hoping to block it out. When he opened them again my tears were gone, replaced with anger.

"I don't know how you did it," I whispered, "but you caused Anton to give up on me. To give up on us. After everything we've been through, you've finally scared him away. I will never forgive you for that."

He opened his mouth as though about to say something but shook his head and closed it again, so I continued.

"See, the thing is," I said, beginning to pace in front of the settee as though I were a teacher and my father a student, "Anton is a German. You seem to think that automatically makes him bad. But if there's one thing I've learnt in my life so far, it's that he is not bad. He is a wonderful person, who saw something in me that I still can't see. I'll probably never make you understand because you obviously don't share this kind of feeling with your own wife."

That struck a chord. Both my parents looked up at me in shock.

"You're no better than a Nazi, Harry Bergen," I said, quite calmly. That really seemed to startle him. He went a funny colour. "See, we can't generalise anyone. Not all Germans are bad people; Anton is an example of that. And not all Americans are good; you're the example of that."

"Patricia," the man I once called my father said hoarsely. "Stop."

"No," I said simply. "I've been stopping when you asked all my life. But it's well past time I spoke freely. Isn't that what the war was all about? Giving people more chances to speak and stuff? I thought we were fighting for freedom, happiness and better chances in life. That's what I was told, anyway. All those posters about Hitler watching us? About the Germans wanting to invade and lock us all up? It was all lies, wasn't it? Propaganda. The war was just an excuse to draw blood. Cause trouble. People like you, who enjoy making a scene and exerting power."

"People who are angry, hurt and lonely," Anton said, speaking up at last. "That's what starts the majority of problems in the world."

"Hitler was a monster," my mother growled.

"Yes," Anton conceded. "But he was not born that way. No child is ever born a monster. He was unwanted, he was mistreated, and he grew up trying to be on top, just once. He had always been on the bottom, always hurt, and when he finally succeeded he let the power take over. I will never justify his actions, or my own during the war, because it was all wrong, but you cannot once say that he was born to commit such atrocities. He was made that way by circumstance. Much as you have been doing to Patty all her life."

"What?!"

"Oh, but she had the blessing of Ruth to watch over her, and Sharon, and the endless possibilities of imagination."

"What a load of…"

"I'm leaving," I announced and everyone in the room turned to stare at me. "I don't ever want to come back here again. Jenkinsville is not my home anymore. Sharon, Ruth, I hope you will both come and visit me wherever I decide to go. Pearl, Harry, you are not my parents anymore and I do not want anything to do with either of you again. Anton, thank you for everything, and I hope we can be the best of friends."

I turned to leave, but was stopped by a gentle touch on my arm. I turned and found myself staring into Anton's eyes, filled with pure adoration and pride.

"Mr Bergen," Anton said loudly, not looking away from me. "Give Patricia the chance to be happy and free. Give me your permission for what I asked earlier."

"I thought you'd given up," I whispered in surprise.

"Patty," Anton chuckled softly. "If you would like to learn the German language still, you must never jump to conclusions. I did not once give up on you, or on us."

"Then what was it you said to my father in German?" I queried in confusion.

"'We will see about that'."

I blinked. "Oh."

"P.B.," Anton said earnestly, cupping my face in his hands. "Do you remember when I said I could not tell you who you really are? That I had to show you?"

I nodded.

"I did not need to," he said, kissing the tip of my nose. "You showed yourself."

"How?" I asked, confused. "I haven't done anything."

Anton laughed. "When will you realise how special you are? You just stood up to your own family for me, and defended me, even though you believed I had given up. You had no positive reward to gain, you believed I was going to leave you, and yet you still told them quite clearly how you felt. You are intelligent, beautiful and most importantly, courageous. This I have always known, but hopefully you can now see it?"

I was utterly stunned. He was right. I had finally stood up to my own parents and defended Anton, even though I had been convinced I was about to lose him anyway. That really was pretty special.

"I think I see it," I whispered, my eyes lifting to meet Anton's. "I think… I think I could do absolutely anything for someone I love."

"Or for something you believe in," Anton said. "And not many people can do that."

"I think," Sharon said, piping up nervously, "that this is getting very awkward. Sorry to spoil the mood, but this is really awkward. I feel as though I'm treading on eggshells."

"I would like to take Patty for a walk outside, if that is alright," Anton said, addressing Sharon and Ruth. He and I both ignored Harry and Pearl.

"You do that," Ruth said warmly and I beamed at her, before following Anton outside into the sunshine.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Argh, I am so sorry at the delay in posting!! I've had exams, and honestly haven't had a chance to write until now. But, the madness is over. Only thing is, this is the second last chapter. The next one will be the last. That scares me a bit. Also, I'm sorry this one is so short! Next one ought to be longer. Please review!**

**Chapter Nineteen. **

Anton and I stepped out into the backyard. I took a deep breath and raised my face towards the golden sun, feeling a lightness in my chest that hadn't been there before. I was free from my parents, and I was with Anton. Honestly, what more could a girl want?

"P.B.," he said, sounding almost business-like. "We have much to discuss. I think there is one place we both know we should be right now."

I smiled, taking his hand as we wandered towards the garage. He helped me up into the hideout before clambering up after me, and we sat down, gazing at one another. He smiled, so warmly and tenderly, that I felt my heart ache with love for him. It was when I shifted slightly and felt cool metal bump against my chest that I remembered the ring. Anton wouldn't have seen this in years! I reached down the front of my clothing and tugged out the simple silver chain, and the heavy ring followed, dangling and swinging from the chain.

"Patty," Anton breathed, eyes widening in surprise. "You… you still have it?"

"Well, of course," I said in confusion. "When you gave it to me you told me to always remember that I'm a person of value and that I had a friend who loved me enough to give me his most valued possession."

As soon as the words were out I felt like a fool. I had sat there and quoted his words, from so many years ago, as though I were lecturing him about an essay. He must think me mad. But no; there was a twinkle of amusement in his beautiful eyes.

"You will never fail to amaze me, Patty Bergen," he said with a chuckle. "You always could remember the things I said very well. May I hold it?"

I unclasped the chain, unthreaded the ring and handed it to him. He turned it over in his fingers, studying it, clearly deep in thought. After a moment he smiled and looked up.

"Speaking of remembering, do you recall the German I spoke to you that confused you so much?"

"I'm sorry about how I was acting," I said, lowering my head in shame. "I don't really hate the German language; I was just afraid that you were going to leave me again, and I guess I got a bit angry."

"Do not say you are sorry," Anton said, waving a hand in dismissal of my apology. "I was referring to the words I spoke. Do you recall them?"

I shook my head.

"_Ich liebe dich_," he said, slowly and clearly, looking me in the eye so intensely that I almost turned away. "Can you tell me what that means?"

I shook my head once again, swallowing in an attempt to restore moisture to my dry mouth.

"Come along, _Liebling_," he said gently. "Which, by the way, is a term of endearment. Similar to darling, or beloved. Now, _ich liebe dich_. Can you take a guess at what it means?"

"I…" I licked my lips. I thought I knew, but if I was wrong… I'd never let myself forget it. "Does it… Does it mean, 'I love you'?"

Anton laughed his beautiful baritone laugh, and I smiled so widely at the pride in his eyes that I thought my face would split. "Clever girl!" he crowed, sliding closer to sit at my side. "Very good! Now, how about _küss mich_?"

"Well, the first word sounds a bit like 'kiss'," I said uncertainly and Anton nodded in encouragement. "Would it maybe mean something like 'kiss me'?"

"You are very good at this, P.B.," he said, positively beaming. "I think you have fooled me, and in fact are fluent in the German language."

I laughed. "I don't think so. Hold on… what?!" It suddenly hit me; Anton had said 'I love you' and 'kiss me' in German. Did he mean it? Was he serious, or only teasing? Or was he simply trying to teach me some of the language? "Anton, why did you say those things? It was just to prove that the German language wasn't so bad, right?"

Anton raised one eyebrow, but his expression gave nothing away. He took hold of my hands in his, the ring now resting on his knee.

"_Mich heiraten_," hesaid, voice low, eyes boring intently into my own. "_Mich heiraten_,Patricia Ann Bergen."

My breath caught in my throat. I didn't even need to translate it; the look of pure, honest, genuine love in his eyes was enough to tell me what he said. This was it. What I had been waiting for my entire life. And I realised something; the love that burned in his eyes was like none I had ever seen. Yes, I had seen love in the eyes of Ruth, Sharon, my grandparents when they were alive. But never had it been so intensely powerful, filled with yearning and a need to protect, and the promise of eternity. It felt as though my entire life had been leading up to this moment and now I was here, I knew it was right.

"Yes," I whispered, tears forming in my eyes. "Yes, Frederick Anton Reiker, I will marry you."

I saw tears shining in his eyes also and when he placed his ring upon my finger, where it was still a bit too loose, I flung my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his. It was different to every other kiss. Our lips met in fiery exultation and it felt as though the world was screaming its delight at us. Or perhaps that was just the victory bells ringing inside my own head. Either way, I didn't care. I was kissing Anton, I was going to marry him, and if anything was the meaning of life, then this moment was it.

I felt his arms around my waist, drawing me closer, and I felt the tears of joy from both of us mingling on our cheeks. Yes, this was a moment that would remain in my memory no matter what. Even if I forgot everything else, forgot who I was, I would always remember this second. The taste of Anton's loving kiss, the feel of his arms around me, and the genuine elation that was screaming its way around my body, through my heart, through my veins, at finally being with the one I love.

When at last we broke apart I reached up to wipe away his tears, and he gently brushed at mine. "I love you, Anton," I said, my voice shaking with emotion. He nodded, smiling deeply.

"I know, _Liebling_. And I love you too, P.B. I do believe I always have."


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: So, here we are then. The end of this story. Before you panic, I'm thinking of writing yet another sequel. It won't be as long, but what do you think? Good idea or not? Let me know. Now, before we go on, I'd like to say thank you.**

**Thank you to joellen818 and morgieO for coming onboard and reviewing. Thank you to Frogster for sticking with this and reviewing. Thank you to Yva J. for your constant support and suggestions. And thank you to DiamondSkin for encouraging me to continue I Love You from a oneshot and to do this sequel. Without all of you I wouldn't have got this far with my writing, so thank you all for reviewing. You've no idea just how much I appreciate it. Love you all :)**

**Chapter Twenty. **

Anton had asked me if I wanted a Jewish wedding and I suddenly remembered the conversation I'd had with Sharon, what felt like years ago but was only about a week. I decided right then that I did not want a Jewish wedding. I didn't care what kind of wedding we had, just as long as I was marrying Anton. We decided on something simple yet sweet with a fairly traditional style.

Everything was quite hectic. I stayed with Ruth while Anton caught a train back to Nashville, and even though he was only gone three days, I felt tears of relief fill my eyes when his car pulled up. Ruth watched in mild amusement as I raced down the drive to engulf Anton in a hug, and he started chattering as we headed back inside.

"I went straight down to the local church after I had retrieved my car," he explained, "and spoke to the Pastor. He was quite pleased for us, and we have organised the date exactly one month from yesterday."

I yelped. "That's quite soon. We better start getting organised."

Anton barely heard me and continued chattering away like a budgerigar in the sun. "I have bought paper for the invitations. White with a gold border. We shall organise a guest list and what we want said, then we can either handwrite or have it printed in Nashville. We must book a venue for the reception; I have here a list of possibilities. Where would you like the honeymoon to be?"

I chewed my lip in an attempt not to giggle. Anton hadn't even taken a breath as he'd spoken. "I don't really mind, but we shouldn't be worrying about that just yet. Let's just write out the guest list for now, and write a list of things we need and things to do."

"There is so much, _Liebling_," Anton said, his eyes shining with delight. "Come, a cup of tea would be nice."

We held hands and strolled inside to find Ruth already making two steaming cups of tea. I felt a stab of guilt that we were intruding on her so much, but I would repay her once the wedding was out of the way.

"Ruth," I said as we settled down to do the guest list. "She's at the top. Then Sharon."

"Got them. Who else?"

"Aunt Beth, Janet and Thomas. And Louisa!"

Anton scribbled the names down.

"That's all for me. How about you?"

"I do not know if my family can afford to come here for the wedding at such short notice, but I shall contact them regardless and try. And…?"

The unspoken question lingered in the air and I shook my head. I didn't want Harry and Pearl there. They weren't my parents anymore. Anton nodded his understanding and no more was said. It sure was going to be a small wedding but that was fine with us. We were inviting the people who meant the most and had helped us on our journey to find one another again. That was all that mattered.

Ruth and I decided to make a dress ourselves. It would be cheaper and we could make it completely our own. We went out and bought several metres of gorgeous floating white fabric and other bits and pieces from the haberdashery store and spread it out on Ruth's living room floor. I sketched up a rough drawing of how I wanted it to look and Ruth measured me before starting to draw up a pattern. For some reason Anton found it amusing that we were so serious about it and teased me for stressing. I threw a pin cushion at him and Ruth muttered something about acting like children.

A week later Ruth received a note from the post office that they had a package waiting for a Reiker. Anton went and collected it and I gaped. It was the biggest package I had ever seen and I hovered excitedly as Anton opened it.

"Oh, wow," I breathed. It was a dark grey suit, clearly made of expensive fabric, and included was a white shirt, silk bow tie, gleaming leather shoes and a satin waistcoat.

"This was the suit my father wore to his wedding," Anton said in awe, his voice almost a whisper. "He always told me as a child that if I married a beautiful lady he would allow me to wear this."

I blushed at the compliment, and gently stroked the expensive fabrics. I could tell this was very special to both Anton and his father. This inspired Ruth and I to work harder on getting the dress done and within another week it was finished. Unfortunately, not everything was going according to plan.

"P.B.," Anton said one morning. "I'm catching the train to Nashville and will return in a week."

"Why?" I asked, panic creeping through my veins.

"Exams," Anton chuckled. "Did you forget?"

"Oh, yes," I admitted sheepishly. "Have you studied?"

"I have," my fiancé said slowly but I got the feeling he hadn't studied quite as much as he could have done.

"I'm sorry," I said, placing my arms around his neck. "I should have remembered. If you fail it will be my fault."

"I shall do my best not to fail," Anton said with a smile. "But if I do, it is no fault of anyone's other than my own."

I had thought the week would be spent with me moping, but I was wrong. I was helping Ruth out with housework every second that wasn't spent preparing and organising for the wedding. When Anton came back I was surprised that a whole week had already gone by, and only a week was left until the wedding.

"Come for a walk with me," Anton instructed after we had done the washing up on his first night back from exams. "I want to show you something."

We strolled hand in hand down the lane, admiring the dusky blues and purples that filled the sky as the sun set. It was so beautiful, so perfect and I sighed contentedly. Anton kissed my cheek.

"I picked something up in Nashville," he said softly, "between exams. I wanted to get you a proper engagement ring."

I gasped as Anton pulled out a small velvet box and opened it to reveal a ring that glittered in the evening light. It was made from the softest gold and three tiny diamonds were imbedded in its surface, twinkling up at me as they caught the light. I quickly removed Anton's ring and replaced it on the chain around my neck, and held my finger out so Anton could slip the new ring onto it. It was a perfect fit and looked beautiful.

I flung my arms around Anton's neck and kissed him lovingly, trying to show my appreciation in the way I caressed his cheek. The warmth I felt in his touch showed that he understood.

Anton drove Ruth, Sharon and I all the way to Nashville in his car three days before the wedding. Louisa and her father decided that Anton had to stay at the motel the night before the wedding because it would be unlucky to see me. They didn't charge him.

I threw up three times on the morning of the wedding. Sharon said I should go to hospital but Ruth laughed and reassured us that it was just nerves upsetting my stomach. It was to be expected, she said. Sharon was almost as nervous as I was and kept flapping about like a hen who had just laid an egg.

I washed my hair and Ruth set it in large rollers for me before blowing it dry with a hair dryer. She and Sharon removed the rollers once it was dry and gorgeous soft curls cascaded past my shoulders. I felt like a princess, especially once Sharon pinned half of it up with her special silver clasp.

Ruth made lunch whilst Sharon did my makeup, and I managed to eat about two bites of the food before I gagged and hurried outside for some fresh air. Eventually it was time to get dressed. Ruth guided me into the living room to help me dress and burst into song.

"Somethin' old, somethin' new, somethin' borrowed and somethin' blue," she sang.

"What's that?" I asked, cocking my head in curiosity. It sounded familiar.

"It's an old tradition," Ruth announced, producing a paper bag out of nowhere. "You have to wear somethin' old to your wedding, as well as somethin' new and somethin' borrowed."

"And something blue," Sharon chimed in. "You've borrowed my hair clasp, and you've got a new dress."

"You're wearing Anton's old ring around your neck," Ruth said, "and in my little bag o' tricks I have somethin' blue."

Out of the bag she extracted a pale blue garter and Sharon squealed with excitement. I grinned with pleasure and began to get changed. White nylon stockings, pale blue garter, and my beautiful dress. It was mid-calf length with a full skirt and was figure-hugging from the waist up. It had a beaded sweetheart neckline and ruched straps at the shoulders. I loved it.

Ruth was full of surprises that day; she organised for an old friend to drive me to the wedding in his 1942 Chrysler. I honestly felt like royalty when I arrived and my heart was racing.

The church was quite small, which was fine as we didn't have many guests, and I felt dizzy as the organ music floated out through the doors. For a moment I wished I had a father to walk me down the aisle but dismissed that thought and walked up the ancient stone steps. It was overwhelming and I clutched my bridal bouquet tightly in sweaty hands and took a deep breath.

I saw Louisa first, beaming at me, and then spotted Janet and Aunt Beth. Little Thomas grinned happily at me. As I made my way down the aisle I saw Sharon and Ruth with tears glimmering in their eyes, and on the other side I saw three people who were clearly Anton's parents and sister. I smiled at them and they flashed wide grins back. I was so glad they had made it. And there, at the front of the church, was my Anton. He looked wonderful, and I could see the joy radiating from him as I walked forwards in time to the music.

Saying "I do" was much easier than I had thought it would be; I had been terrified that I might stutter, but I didn't. And when Anton kissed me and everyone cheered I felt as though my heart was floating. As we walked hand in hand out of the church into the sunshine I realised that this truly was what I had been waiting for, all my life. Genuine love and happiness. And, after today, I would have it for eternity.

**The End. **

**A/N: So what did you think? Please review and let me know what you thought. Also, let me know if you'd like to see a sequel to this one or not. Add me to your author alerts so that you'll know if/when I do it. Thank you all again :)**


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